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Non Violent Communication Seminar

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Today AmeriCorps Project CHANGE team met to get ready for the Half -Yearly Interviews scheduled for later this month. They also met Dr. Bob Anastasi, who works with the George B Thomas Learning Academy and was one of the key founders of Project CHANGE. Bob shared his experience as a principal and his work as the CEO of various non-profits and explained how Project CHANGE started. Then it was down to business.

One of the key skills of leadership is how to receive and give constructive feedback and that became the focus of the training. Mid-year evaluations can be done as a ritual that one endures, or they can be used to enhance performance for the second half of the service year. Members tried out the evaluation survey that they and the supervisor will each get, and planned how they might respond and what they might request at the meeting.

The other part of the training was taking the well known book my Marshall Rosenburg called Non Violent Communication- A Language of Life. Here members learned about the necessary distinctions between

1.Observations and Interpretations

2.Feelings and Thoughts

3.Needs and Wishes

4. Requests and Demands

We tried out some sample conversations using the model:

“When I notice you coming an hour late for our dinner date last Friday, ( Specific Observation)
I felt angry and frustrated ( the Feeling)
because I need to know my time and your time is respected, since we are both so busy, ( the Need) and so can I ask you in future, if you know you are going to be late, can you call me ahead of time so I don’t overcook the chicken or worry that you have had an accident.” (The Request, not the Demand.) 

Rosenberg argued that all conflict happens because we miscommunicate our legitimate human needs. We tend to confuse facts with feelings, and requests with demands. We try to make others responsible for our feelings and abdicate the adult role which is to know what you need and take action to have them met. When we say, “You make me so angry because you are not listening,” we are making someone else responsible for how we feel. Not only is that a vital surrender of power, it is also the first step to protracted conflict.  Members were encouraged to be the chief advocates for their own needs, because unless they are competent in meeting their own needs, they can hardly be totally adept at meeting other people’s needs. One must never confuse the two, and one must never allow the second to be the excuse for neglecting the fair demands of the first. Service may be unselfish but it cannot be at the price of sacrificing the essentials.

We also tried to expand the conversation about the second half. If the first 6 months of service has been perfect, then that does not leave any room for growth or experimenting. Members were encouraged to formulate a request for their supervisor that would build on what they learned so far, and help the supervisor better support the ongoing work of each AmeriCorps member.  Some wanted more understanding of  other parts of the Non Profit organization, such as budget and policy, and others want to ask for more structure or clearer communication of expectations. Whatever the request, I am sure that our partners will continue to enhance the Project CHANGE member’s experience, and make it even more memorable.

 

 

Project CHANGE Supervisors Celebrate our Members Gifts

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When you convene a training meeting of Supervisors, as we did today, you expect to hear some of the real issues that members face at their work site. And you want to also hear how the Supervisors perceive the member’s  contribution. But what you don’t expect is such fulsome praise. If you were eavesdropping,  this is what you would have heard by way of comments:

“Goes above and beyond.”
“Instrumental in so many ways. She has made our program extension possible.”
“Helps us with the most difficult conversations.”
“He has discovered in the work that he can be a strong advocate and that is what he wants to do.”
“They have increased the enrollment by more than 30%, from 300 kids to over 500.”
“She expanded the healthy eating and ran the Wellness Fair totally as her idea. All I had to do was show up.  Amazing work”
“She has engaged the school more with our program. Something we really needed.”
“She is so very organized. She is teaching us so much.”
“Sometimes I worry that she is working too many hours, and coming in too early and leaving too late. Her work ethic is outstanding.”
“She is so oriented to detail- its something we are learning from her. She tracks everything.”
“Her desire to learn is amazing. Every day, she has questions that engage me.”
“He really does the work and takes responsibility and doing so much more than I ask him.”

I told the supervisors that the quality of the AmeriCorps experience relies so much on the quality of the supervisors and wanted to appreciate them for how much great work they are doing with Project CHANGE. The other part of our meeting was an amazing feeling of camararderie, where each supervisor was able to share freely and listen to the experience of other supervisors. We did the traditional Bells and Whistles Check in, followed by time for some peer to peer group coaching. It is such a simple process and yet, always so powerful. The experience of being heard is like a magic elixir, made more precious because perhaps it is so rare.

Well done and THANK YOU to all our amazing Supervisors, and a huge WELL DONE to the amazing Project CHANGE team of 2015-16. You make us all proud.

Cultural Jeopardy-Study Circles and the Serious Game of Culture

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What is Limpia? What is a Bar Mitzvah? What is a Samosa? What cultures celebrate a different date for New Year? What faiths require men to always cover their heads? What is Ramadam? Who eats black eyed peas on New Years eve and why?  What is the Hijab? How many can you answer?

The questions were all part of a fun game, and the A team beat team Jonas, and there was a lot of laughter and joking. But when you think about it, the questions reveal how ignorant or how well informed each one of us is about the culture of another. Imagine a teacher who teaches a child who is keeping Ramadam, and does not understand what fasting does to a young body on a hot day?  Or the teacher who has a girl wearing the hijab?

We live in a global world where cultures are both blended and distinct. To teach or to work in a mutli-cultural setting, such as our AmeriCorps team do, in their day to day service, the training that Study Circles offers is crucial. Thank you Study Circles.

Project Change experiences the Study Circles Method

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The Project Change new year got off to a strong start with two trainings conducted by John Landesman and staff at Study Circles, where two of our members are serving. Study Circles has been a Project Change partner almost from the beginning, and it is a special part of our year long training program.  We have our members go through a mini-version of what so many School Principals and Staff have found so transformative.  Here is how the MCPS annual report explains the issue:

 “The gap in performance among racial subgroups persists and, in some cases, has grown… There is a sense of urgency to closing the gap and that urgency becomes even greater as MCPS becomes a more diverse school district.”

Stage One is a lot of fun mostly, building the trust through games and story sharing. The life line exercise is always so powerful, where each person is asked to share one event or moment in their lives that changed who they were, or how they saw the world. It never fails to amaze me that people forget that we all have to live in the same century, and the same decade, and that events like 9-11 or the wars in Iraq or Hurricane Katrina effect us all, one way or another. When an event effects many, it effects all.

Stage Two, for homework , we are asked to share any articles we have read that talk about racism. Some members  brought up news items on anti-Muslim sentiments in some parts of t12592336_10154192746228352_5947081860054218293_nhe nation, and others have shared about the Black Lives Matter movement. These are conversations that are never easy, but when it comes to the effects of institutional racism on our education system, the cost of remaining silent or on the sidelines is too great.

So this week, we are eager to have those critical conversations about race, and learn how others have experienced it as privilege or disadvantage.

Thank you John and Study Circles.