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Posts by Paul Costello1

This Chart Measures Your Life — and it Doesn’t Look Good

Chad Williams  in Medium 

I’m supposed to live less than 4000 weeks, and each one breezes by

I read an article from Bloomberg titled “A Typical American Life, Week by Week”. The piece shows the chart below and then goes on to analyze the percentages these phases of your life take up, and how retirement is longer than people plan for, blah blah blah on and on it goes.

The whole time I’m just thinking: holy crap. Life is short.

Image Source: Bloomberg

Is this really all there is?

  1. Early Years
  2. Elementary School
  3. Middle School
  4. High School
  5. College
  6. Career/Graduate School
  7. Retirement

Seven phases of my life? I’m a dude. That means I get less than 4,000 weeks in this life. The last two weeks alone feel like they’ve flown by.

I’m prone to existentialism and cosmic claustrophobia when I think about how minuscule the span of our lives is.

How can we make our lives worth more than a collection of weeks easily condensed into a chart and colour-coded?

I’ve struggled with this question for a long time, and maybe there isn’t a satisfactory answer for everybody. But there are universal principles for working towards happiness we can all apply.

Think About The Next Generation

Building up the next round of troops for the universe to assail is quite rewarding. This can come in many forms.

  • Caring for your family. Love your kids, cherish the moments you get with them, and instruct them carefully so they can be upholders of goodness and right as they enter into the world.
  • Leave the world better than how you found it. Accomplish something that will continue to impact people once you’re gone, no matter how small.
  • Mentor a young person. Children — yes even the crowd of high school graduates who preen their feathers counts as children — need guides. The world is a crazy place. Help someone learn to navigate. Be an ear for their troubles and triumphs, and teach them a valuable skill. Set a good example for them.

Help Others

If you want to get scientific: helping others is linked to heightened reactions in your brain that correlate with happiness.

If you want to get honest: true satisfaction comes from being useful to other people. From benefiting other people. It’s a great thing to be able to help someone.

  • Invest in your community: Support locally owned businesses. Volunteer at homeless shelters. Actually slow down and chat with a librarian for once. Every person you see outside is just as interesting as you. So have neighbours over for dinner and get to know them — you may not think having dinner with someone is helping them much, but having a good friend is a very big thing. Being part of a collective outside of your individual self is a powerful path towards meaning and satisfaction.
  • Make yourself uncomfortable: Doing something good is going to be inconvenient for you. This is true almost absolutely. So go out of your way to make time for a friend, meet someone new, or offer to take on the extra load at work.

Perfect Yourself

Most people want a partner to live out their lives with. Well, how are you so certain you’re good enough to be lived with? Maturing into your best self is not only beneficiary in attracting partners and friendships — it feels good.

Not in a self-centred way of wanting to be better than everyone else. Rather it springs from a love of life. A love of life means wanting everything to be the best it possibly can be; for everything to grow to its highest potential.

  • Be good at something: Sound easy? Get really good at something — become competent. It’s such a powerful thing, being competent. And once you’ve gotten good at something, become the best at it. There isn’t a person in this world who is incapable of being the best at something, there are simply those who don’t know it yet.
  • Be kind: This is harder than you might think. I don’t mean just to be kind to your friends and people it’s easy to be kind to. Be kind to those everyone else despises. Be kind to those who despise you. Do we dream of a world where everyone gets along? No better place to start than in your own conduct.
  • Make your bed every day: What I mean is to have your life in order, and keep it that way. If you have broken relationships, mend them. If your career path is tedious, stabilize it. If your house is messy, clean it. And if your bed is disorderly, make it.

I know lots of people look at our short life span and think that it indicates life has no meaning. I believe our finite amount of time on this earth should push us to seek out our meaning all the more.

https://medium.com/illumination/this-chart-measures-your-life-and-it-doesnt-look-good-621c6ee844be

Finally, some basic justice for my girlfriend, Breonna Taylor

Washington Post August 26th 2022 A21 Kenneth Walker is a native of Louisville.

After nearly two and a half years, a person connected with the Louisville Metro Police Department has finally taken some responsibility for the death of my girlfriend, Breonna Taylor.

Since March 13, 2020, I have had to hear lie after lie about what happened that horrible night. Now the police have begun to tell the truth — that the cops knew that they did not have probable cause to search Bre’s apartment, that they lied to get the search warrant that resulted in officers unlawfully breaking down our door in the middle of the night, that they conspired to cover their tracks after gunning Bre down, and that they kept lying for years.

Moments after I held Bre as she died, the police arrested and charged me with attempted murder. Knowing all the problems that this failed raid would create, the Louisville police tried to use me as a scapegoat to deflect blame. It almost worked.

Justice has been a long time coming. For two months in 2020, I sat in custody thinking and believing I might die in prison — and for what? But, during that time, the police in Minneapolis choked the life out of George Floyd as he repeatedly told them, “I can’t breathe.” Floyd’s murder led the world to look into the death of Breonna, the woman I loved. After Bre’s case started to receive attention, the case against me started to receive attention. Soon after, a judge dismissed it.

Following my release from jail, I sat by shell-shocked and waited for the Commonwealth of Kentucky to investigate the officers who caused the death of Bre and who wrongfully arrested, charged and blamed me for their mistakes. But instead of holding the officers responsible, Kentucky Attorney General Daniel Cameron told the world in September 2020 that it was my fault Bre died.

It was not my fault that the police refused to respond to Bre’s calls of “Who is it?” and returned more than 20 shots after I fired one shot to protect us in her apartment — a shot fired after the cops, holding a fraudulently obtained warrant, refused to identify themselves and knocked down our door in the middle of the night. Louisville police and local government officials made this about my (lawful) use of a firearm instead of their illegal conduct that led them to our doorstep.

This week, we got some accountability. Former police detective Kelly Goodlett pleaded guilty to criminal conspiracy and admitted that the only information in the affidavit that might have justified a warrant was false. She admitted to knowing the warrant would be executed in the middle of the night and that it might risk injury or death to people in the home. She admitted that the warrant did not reflect up-to-date information. She also admitted that she and other members of the police department tried to cover up their lies.

The Justice Department’s investigation has begun to reveal the real story about what happened that night. There was no good reason for the cops to execute a search warrant at Bre’s apartment at any time, much less in the middle of the night. Federal charges are still pending against former officers Joshua Jaynes, Kyle Meany and Brett Hankison. All of these officers have been fired, although Meany did not lose his job until last week. The wheels of justice have turned very slowly, but I am grateful that the Justice Department has been faithful in its pursuit of the truth.

For me, Goodlett’s guilty plea is bittersweet. This case will follow me the rest of my life. I have to live as a witness to Bre’s horrific and tragic death. The memory of that door being forced open is with me constantly and makes it very hard to sleep. My mug shot has been shown all over the country. Even now, I am wrongly called a “thug” and a “drug dealer” by people I have never met. The Louisville police tried to have my civil suits against city and county officials dismissed, but they are proceeding.

I have to live with constant reminders of police falsely charging and mistreating me. While driving from Atlanta back to Kentucky last year, a Tennessee officer pulled me over for a traffic violation. When the officer ran my information, his system showed that charges of attempted murder of a police officer had been filed against me. Before I knew it, more police cars drove up. Luckily, the officers allowed me to explain that those charges had been dismissed. But, for a moment, I felt as helpless and afraid as I did on March 13, 2020.

This is my life. While I am grateful to have it, the nightmare continues.

AmeriCorps Project CHANGE at AFI Film Festival

Project CHANGE 2021-22 at AFI for Graduation

It was a first for Project CHANGE for a number of reasons.

Firstly, to host a graduation in the form of a film festival. We have never done that before. We usually have speeches that we film and turn the graduation INTO a video memento. But this time, we did one better. We turned the graduation into a film festival.

Second, being based in Silver Spring, we have always known the prestigious AFI theater and complex is on our door step, but the idea of having an event there was beyond our thinking. It is a magnificent venue run by the best. We felt privileged to be staging our event there. And the ticker on the outside read “Congratulations to the Project CHANGE team of 2021-22.” Having your name up in lights is something else.

Lastly, Project CHANGE is lucky to have an award winning film maker on the team and a home grown film studio. With Ahmed Mansour and Filistia films directing the productions, we were assured of a moving tribute to the class of 2021-22 and their amazing year of service during the third year of the pandemic.

Enjoy the Show.

Some kids need harder lessons than schools are willing to give them

New data reveals stubborn preference for below grade-level instruction


Perspective by Jay Mathews Washington Post August 22 2022

Hundreds of teachers and much data over many years have convinced me that too many schools think the best way to educate kids is give them easy stuff.

I have heard complaints about this mostly from teachers of college-level Advanced Placement and International Baccalaureate programs in high schools. They discovered impoverished children did surprisingly well in their difficult courses if they had more time and encouragement.

Yet these teachers continue to struggle against a widespread, if well-meaning, resistance to raising the level of learning. A new study of reading instruction in the 2021-2022 school year suggests this bias in favor of dumbing down instruction is still with us — and may affect our ability to recover from the pandemic.

A look at more than 3 million children in more than 150,000 classrooms who frequently use the ReadWorks reading instruction program indicates that students were just as successful on grade-level work as they were on below grade-level work. So their teachers rushed to give them more grade-level assignments, right?

Apparently not.

“That shift doesn’t appear to be happening,” said the report by TNTP, a nonprofit organization formerly known as The New Teacher Project. It has been working for 25 years to link poor and minority children with effective teaching. The report’s title is “Unlocking Acceleration: How Below Grade-Level Work is Holding Students Back in Literacy.”

Public education is facing a crisis of epic proportions

“Students are spending even more time on below grade-level work than they were before the pandemic,” the report said. “Students on the ReadWorks platform spent about a third of their time engaging with below grade-level texts and question sets. In fact, they received 5 percentage points more below grade-level content” than before the 2021-2022 school year.

“Students in schools serving more historically marginalized communities — particularly students experiencing poverty — were assigned the most below grade-level work. Students in schools serving the most students in poverty spent about 65% more time on below grade-level texts and question sets than their peers in the most affluent schools,” the report said.

The study does not compare the achievement of students taking below grade-level classes with those taking grade-level classes using randomly selected groups.

“We are making no data claims that say learning acceleration improves achievement by X, or students who were in a learning acceleration classroom had X better outcomes than those who were not,” TNTP spokesperson Jacob Waters said. “We simply seek to point out that across a giant sample of assignments, we’re not consistently making the choice to get kids access to grade-level content, especially if those kids attend schools that are serving large numbers of systemically and historically marginalized students.”

Tom Loveless, former senior fellow at the Brookings Institution, told me more research is necessary before we accept the TNTP conclusions. He pointed to one randomized middle school study in Florida showing long-term benefits from below grade-level remediation, although the students in that program took two English language arts classes at the same time, one below grade-level and one at grade-level.

The TNTP study said students in high-poverty schools got less access to grade-level work “even when they’d already shown they can master it.” Students in such schools who consistently succeeded on grade-level assignments got less access to grade-level work in the future than students in more affluent schools who hadn’t mastered those assignments.

I have found in schools across the country that a kindly reluctance to put too much pressure on children leads educators to bar low-income and minority students from challenging courses.

An inside look at classrooms finds ‘false promises,’ wasted time, and failure to learn

In 1987, two math teachers at Garfield High School in East Los Angeles produced 26 percent of all Mexican American students in the country who passed an AP calculus exam. The only reasonable explanation for that seems to be that plenty of such students in other schools were capable of such work if well taught, but their schools wrongly thought they lacked the ability. The recent success of IDEA network charter schools in Texas focusing on AP and IB classes for Mexican American children supports that conclusion.

However, it takes more than squelching bad assumptions to improve schools. Thuan Nguyen, chief executive officer of the nationwide AVID program to raise student achievement, said what teachers need is “proven practices to support students when rigorous content becomes challenging and confusing.”

The TNTP report said the most effective way to alter incorrect assumptions about disadvantaged children’s abilities “is to give educators a chance to enact high expectations, then reflect on what students were able to accomplish when given a chance to engage in reading, writing and discussing content-rich, meaningful texts.”

I would like more randomized studies on that. Wrongheaded assumptions hurt progress in nearly every field of human endeavor, but they are particularly galling when they affect children.

It’s not political. I have never seen a campaign leaflet saying we shouldn’t give children hard work. Improving how we categorize our kids is something we can work on together.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/education/2022/08/21/grade-level-reading-difficulty-challenge/






Parents and teachers cautiously optimistic for new school year

Mental health, teacher shortages and monkeypox join list of covid concerns

By Nicole AsburyLauren Lumpkin and Hannah Natanson Updated August 20, 2022 at 10:22 a.m. EDT|Published August 20, 2022 at 10:00 a.m. EDT

Across the Washington region, thousands of children are getting ready to return to school. Teachers are preparing lessons and setting up their classrooms. Parents are booking last-minute doctor’s appointments for children behind on routine vaccinations.

The past few years have been difficult, with challenges including the coronavirus pandemic that forced some of the most drastic shifts in teaching and learning, and instances of school violence and culture war clashes.

Those issues — and others — are still on the minds of parents and teachers. In response to a Washington Post survey, parents and teachers said they were concerned about the lingering mental health challenges the pandemic caused for their children, students and themselves. Some also were concerned by the seeming disrespect shown by some students, parents and politicians for education and the work done in schools. Others fear a new health risk with the spread of the monkeypox virus, and the possibility of re-emerging coronavirus outbreaks continue to haunt many of them.

Still, many parents and teachers say they are optimistic about the new school year, hopeful that the past year of in-person learning has made a difference in students’ academic, social and emotional standing.

“That’s the big question,” said David Potasznik, an ESOL teacher at Rockville High School in Maryland’s Montgomery County Public Schools. “We’re hoping … but the fact remains that we’re behind where we would have expected.”

Many of the students Potasznik teaches are newcomers to the school district, so he’s uncertain whether they learned virtually or in-person during the year before. Montgomery County dropped its masking requirement in the spring; that move can help Potasznik teach students English, since they can see his mouth as he forms words. But Potasznik, 68, is in an age group that is more vulnerable to the coronavirus. He has both shots of the vaccine and two boosters, and he says he has avoided contracting covid-19 thus far. As the school start date has approached, he has considered whether to prioritize his health by masking or to forgo masking to better model speech patterns for his students.

“I guess I’m just going to have to see what it’s like in a week and make a call,” Potasznik said.

Advika Agarwal, a rising 11th-grader at Richard Montgomery High School in Rockville, Md., was looking forward to seeing her friends back in the classroom and to work on environmental issues around the school district, including starting more composting programs at schools.

She says she is mostly positive about the upcoming school year but is concerned about coronavirus transmission rates increasing. She said she has seen emails from the school system’s PTA members about reinstating a mask mandate. Regardless of the school system’s decision, Agarwal said she plans to continue to wear a mask and sanitize her hands frequently.

“Cases are kind of coming down and then going up again, and it’s just kind of unpredictable,” Agarwal, 16, said.

Like many districts around the country, and most in the D.C. metro area, Montgomery County has made masks optional. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention relaxed its covid guidelines this month, recommending that schools end quarantines for staffers and students exposed to the coronavirus and discontinue test-to-stay programs that allowed exposed students to stay in school if they repeatedly tested negative for the coronavirus and showed no symptoms of covid-19. The CDC’s guidelines are not mandatory, but many schools systems use them to set their own policies and, consequently, also have relaxed their covid rules.

In Virginia’s Prince William County, where school starts Monday, Marion Lasswell’s concern centers mostly on her two children still in grade school — and she has one starting college — and especially on her daughter, a high-school senior. Her son is in seventh-grade, is on the autism spectrum and receives an Individualized Education Program. For both children, she doubts their ability to behave appropriately with friends and in classroom settings: “They’ve been socially isolated for such a long time, I just don’t know how they would deal with other people.”

Lasswell’s children underwent fully virtual schooling for about two years. Although they went back to the classroom last year, her children kept their masks on and were very strict about social distancing, so she doesn’t feel that the year of brick-and-mortar instruction made much of a difference in teaching them how to speak to other children their age.

She said she feels less anxious about her son after an open house Thursday during which she watched him “interact with other kids, which was a little reassuring.” She is still apprehensive for her daughter, though, because the girl struggled intensely during isolation.

“We moved here just before the pandemic struck, so she hasn’t really been able to make friends as easily,” Lasswell said. “And in that age group, they already have their cliques and stuff.”

What parents should say to teachers (according to teachers)

As districts continue to adjust to the realities of the two-year-old coronavirus pandemic, there are concerns about a different virus: monkeypox. Dominique Moore, a teacher at Johnson Middle School in Southeast Washington, said there has not been much guidance about dealing with a potential outbreak.

Nathaniel Beers, a general and developmental-behavioral pediatrician at Children’s National Hospital in D.C., said that despite the low numbers — only two cases had been confirmed in children as of Aug. 10 — parents do have concerns about monkeypox.

Monkeypox is different from many other childhood viruses, such as the flu, coronavirus and chickenpox, in that it requires not just respiratory transmission, but direct and sustained contact and is most likely spread with direct contact with a lesion.

Beers, who supervises the Children’s National program that places school nurses in D.C. public and charter schools, said that nurses’ most recent training includes an update on monkeypox, how to identify it and reminders about taking precautions as they care for children.

Most viruses are contagious for a short time, but people with monkeypox may have to isolate for two to four weeks, he said. “It’s not ideal, given the last two and a half years that we have had to have a virus that would cause prolonged periods of time that a child was unable to return to school.”

Beers said he does not expect to see widespread monkeypox disease in schools and day cares. Instead, spread is more likely to be seen on college campuses, “where people are living in congregate settings and young people are making questionable decisions,” Beers said.

Beyond the health questions, some parents and teachers also have academic concerns about their students.

“The two years that they were virtual, they were literally cheating. They would look up the answers on Google,” Lasswell of Prince William said. “I’m not sure if they have the quality of education or are caught up to where they need to be.”

Nonetheless, she is beginning the 2022-2023 school year with optimism, she said. She is determined to feel hopeful for what the fresh school year will bring. “I’m worried but hopeful. Concerned but hopeful,” she said, emphasizing each “but.”

Jenna Portnoy contributed to this report.

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Metro area systems begin classes Monday. Here’s what to expect in your school:

D.C.

School system and city leaders launched an urgent effort this summer to bring roughly 30,000 children — or a quarter of public and private school students — up to date on routine vaccinations for illnesses including polio and measles.

Students over age 12 also will need to be vaccinated against the coronavirus to attend school this year, a measure that was passed by the D.C. Council and has drawn some criticism for its potential to exacerbate academic disparities between Black and White children. Students who do not comply with the requirement will be barred from school.

Students have 20 days after the first day of school, however, to comply. The Office of the State Superintendent of Education will host weekly vaccination events next month.

D.C. schools, like other districts nearby, also will soften some coronavirus protocols to mesh with updated guidance from the CDC. But D.C. schools will continue to enforce a “test-to-return” policy, which requires students and staffers to show proof of a negative coronavirus test for the first day of class.

D.C. also is feeling the effects of a nationwide shortage of teachers. D.C.’s public school system serves more than 50,000 students and employs about 4,000 teachers on average each year. Leaders expect to start the school year with about 150 open positions, and central-services staffers will fill teacher gaps during September. Substitute teaching contracts also will be expanded.

But those measures do not address the root causes of teacher resignations, including an evaluation system that feels punitive and inflexible, said Lucia Cuomo, an ESL teacher in Northeast Washington.

“I think it’s time for policymakers and school districts to reevaluate how teachers are treated all around,” Cuomo said, “to reevaluate how change is being implemented and to revaluate how teachers are being financially rewarded.”

Maryland

Maryland’s largest school districts — in Montgomery and Prince George’s counties — are bringing students back Aug. 29 amid hundreds of teacher and staff vacancies.

As of Friday morning, 187 full-time teacher positions were open, with 34 applicants in the process of being hired, Montgomery County officials said. Also, 457 staff positions were open. Seventy bus driver positions were open, with 41 candidates being trained.

The teacher openings will be filled with substitute teachers, many of which are retired teachers, until the positions are filled permanently, and Schools Superintendent Monifa McKnight has pledged not to increase class sizes.

Prince George’s County has about 900 vacant teacher positions and 400 vacant support staff positions, officials said. Teacher gaps will be filled with substitute teachers and retirees; with increased pay. Extra pay also will be offered to teachers who cover more classrooms.

Prince George’s County Public Schools, with roughly 128,000 students, has 168 bus driver openings. Parents have been warned to expect delays during the first few weeks of school. Bell times have been shifted at some schools to make sure students get to class on time.

Parents also will be allowed to enter school buildings this school year, but many parent-teacher meetings are likely to be conducted virtually. The school system has a mask mandate for students and staffers on school grounds, with coronavirus transmission levels being periodically reviewed. The school system will provide coronavirus rapid tests to symptomatic students.

Masks are optional in Montgomery County Public Schools. The school system’s new coronavirus protocols fall in line with the CDC’s latest relaxed guidance for schools. MCPS also will provide coronavirus tests to students who are in high-risk situations, such as during confirmed outbreaks, and to symptomatic students.

Virginia

In Northern Virginia, school will begin this year with few coronavirus precautions, some stopgap measures to solve teacher shortages and, in the Alexandria district, extra precautions to ensure student safety.

Both Fairfax County Public Schools — the state’s largest system, with roughly 179,000 students — and Alexandria City Public Schools, which enrolls close to 16,000 students, send children back into classrooms Monday.

Neither district is requiring masking, per state lawAlexandria is requiring that staffers be vaccinated against the coronavirus; Fairfax is not. The vaccine is not required for students.

The Loudoun school system and the Arlington system do not return children to classrooms until Aug. 25 and Aug. 29, respectively. Loudoun enrolls slightly more than 81,000 students, and Arlington enrolls roughly 27,000. Loudoun is not requiring employee vaccination, but Arlington is; neither district is requiring students to be vaccinated.

All four districts experienced a rise in teacher resignations over the past academic year, but officials said staffing gaps are shrinking closer to the start of the school year.

Arlington was down to 56 full-time-teacher vacancies as of Aug. 18. Alexandria has shrunk its teacher vacancies to about 4 percent (60 or so positions). Fairfax is 99 percent staffed with teachers, and Loudoun is 98 percent staffed.

Each district will rely on short- and long-term substitute teachers to ensure that all classes are staffed.

Alexandria’s start of classes also will bring increased safety measures, after a run of safety incidents involving students in the 2021-2022 school year, including the fatal stabbing of an 18-year-old near Alexandria City High School in May.

The district is instituting a policy requiring students to have their school identification cards with them each day. Secondary schools also will receive additional “school security officers … to support school administrators,” the district has said. The district also has expanded cellphone service at Alexandria City High School.

Time out from study- change the world instead!

Can chemical engineers change the world? (Day 177) – IChemE







Five skills parents can learn so they can help their children cope

By Katherine Reynolds Lewis August 16, 2022 at 8:00 a.m. EDT Washington Post

The coronavirus pandemic has affected the mental health of children and teens, and therapists are tapped out and booked up. But that doesn’t mean care is impossible. In fact, caregivers can learn therapeutic strategies to support, reinforce and teach our children healthy coping skills.

Experts point to five key skills you can develop that will support your child during a crisis, supplement therapy once it’s underway and continue to improve your family’s mental health for years to come.Press Enter to skip to end of carousel

A better school year

“Our job is being a proactive parent and taking initiative,” said Mary Alvord, a Rockville, Md.-based psychologist and co-author of “Conquer Negative Thinking.” “Even with suicidal kids, a little bit of intervention can go a long way. Avoidance and ignoring is not going to get you anywhere.”

Alvord and others suggested learning these mainstays of therapeutic practice.

Skill 1: Attuning

In our busy lives, it’s easy to listen absently to our children or to bark orders. Attuning helps us notice when children need a deeper level of attention. It strengthens our relationship with our kids and helps them better understand themselves and their feelings.

Paying attention. When children’s routines shift or they come into the room in a huff, that’s a signal for you to dig deeper. Describe what you see, and invite them to share. You might say: “I noticed you’re spending more time in your room. I’m wondering if you’re upset about something.” Offering a guess can help them get started, both in processing their emotions and in sharing them, said Meag-gan O’Reilly, a psychologist and lecturer at Stanford University.

Reflective listening. One of the most powerful tools, reflective listening, can also be the most challenging to deploy. It involves three steps: listening closely, paraphrasing what you hear and inviting your child to correct your understanding. It’s important to be sincere, use eye contact, get at their level and put away distractions. Don’t offer opinions or advice; just seek to understand. Phrases such as, “I’m hearing you say,” and, “Let me see if I have this right,” can help. For example, when a child is upset over bad grades, parents can listen reflectively instead of telling the child to study more. That leaves space for children to process their emotions, consider how their choices led to the outcome and decide how to move forward.

Validation. Know that you may hear answers that alarm or upset you. This is when it’s crucial to validate your child’s perspective. If you dismiss their feelings or try to talk them out of it, they’ll shut down or argue. “Parents are driven to fix things and give kids the answer,” Alvord said. “That’s not how we learn.”

That doesn’t mean you need to agree. Maybe your daughter says she looks ugly in her yearbook photo, said Pat Harvey, an author and clinical social worker based in Rockville. If you insist that she looks beautiful, she may feel invalidated. Instead, you could say: “I get that you’re disappointed in how your pictures look. I happen to like them; I can understand that you don’t.”

“You have to touch your kid’s pain and disappointment, and none of us want to do that,” Harvey said. When you acknowledge your child’s pain, it actually lessens their struggle and opens a path to behavior change. “We only listen when we feel heard,” she noted.

Skill 2: Emotional literacy

When parents build emotional literacy, they help their children understand their own feelings. Part of that is connecting body sensations with emotions, Alvord said. Your fourth-grader’s stomach ache could be related to swimming tryouts. Teens’ headaches might be from holding school stress on their shoulders. “We know the mind and body are connected,” Alvord said, explaining that cognitive behavioral therapy connects feelings, physiology and thoughts to change behavior.

Know that all emotions are okay, even the unpleasant ones. Naming the emotion helps tame it, a strategy coined by authors Daniel J. Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson. As children tune in to their emotions, they get better at managing them — and at predicting how they will feel.

One study by the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence involved high-schoolers tracking their emotions and behavior, with a surprising result about posting Photoshopped pictures to social media. “The anticipation was, ‘I’m going to feel more beautiful and more attractive,’ but in the end, they actually felt worse,” said Marc Brackett, author of “Permission to Feel” and director of the center, which helped create a free emotion-tracking app called How We Feel. “We all have to become emotion scientists, and that includes being self-aware and giving ourselves the permission to feel all emotions.”

Skill 3: Self-regulation

One of the hardest parenting skills to develop is self-regulation, especially in the face of your child being angry or upset. A key is to breathe intentionally. “Take a deep breath and hold your breath for the count of 10,” Alvord said. “It’s amazing how effective that can be.”

Harvey encourages her parent clients to text her when they feel overwhelmed with emotions in a difficult moment with their children. Sometimes she coaches them by text about what to say, but even when she’s not available, pausing to text helps them respond more skillfully. “In texting me, they’ve taken themselves out of the emotionality,” she said. “They’ve thought about it differently.”

You should model self-regulation to your children. Maybe you had a difficult day and head out for a walk. Explain what you’re doing, O’Reilly said. “They’ll hear walking is a way we can attend to stress,” she said. “Telegraphing your internal process externally really gives them cues.”

Skill 4: Self-compassion

Self-compassion involves more than just cutting yourself a break. There are three defined steps: Acknowledge that you are experiencing pain and be kind to yourself; recognize that you’re not alone; and put your experiences in perspective to moderate your own negative reactivity.

Studies have shown that self-compassion increases well-being, lowers anxiety and depression, and can buffer against many health issues, including substance abuse, eating disorders and suicidal ideation.

Self-compassion “is like portable therapy. Any moment that’s a moment of difficulty can be transformed,” said Kristin Neff, author of “Fierce Self-Compassion” and a researcher at the University of Texas at Austin. “It’s a way of being with negative emotions or negative experiences. Are we with it with mindfulness, connectedness, kindness, warmth and support? Or are we just blaming ourselves, blaming others or railing against reality?”

Emotions are contagious. People are such social creatures that if someone’s vibrating with anxiety, we’ll probably feel on edge. Parents and children pick up on each other’s emotions — and spread them — more easily because of our close relationships.

That’s why self-compassion can be so powerful. Parents can deploy self-compassion at any high-intensity moment with children. Model self-compassion by speaking out loud, or use it silently to calm yourself. Either way, your child benefits.

If children are being hard on themselves, telling them to lighten up will probably spark resistance. Instead, talk them through the steps of self-compassion.

“It’s not just being soft, complacent or indulgent,” Neff said. “Sometimes it’s getting your stuff together and saying: ‘What I need to care for myself is something uncomfortable that’s going to be good for me in the long run.’ ”

Skill 5: Reframing

When you’re frustrated, it’s easy to start labeling your child, even silently. Therapists recommend reframing to open yourself to other ways of viewing the situation, which in turn helps you see positive paths forward. Avoid assumptions or judgments, and instead observe and become open to possibilities.

For example, if your child abruptly gets up to leave the table, you may interpret that as rude. Instead, consider whether your child needs quiet time, Harvey said. “We can do a lot about behaviors. We can’t do anything when we put labels on,” she said. “When you make assumptions, we act as if those assumptions are true, so we do all kinds of contracts and negotiations around what we think is the problem.”

Similarly, you can help children reframe by questioning assumptions. If they worry about you getting into an accident and dying, talk them through more realistic possibilities, Alvord said. Help them find their way to optimistic thinking, which sees bad things as temporary and specific. When you’re depressed, you tend to generalize and see bad situations as unchangeable.

Ask questions such as: “What’s the worst thing that could happen? Is it always? Is it everybody? Is it going to go on forever, or is this temporary?” Alvord suggested.

Practicing these five skills will build your child’s resilience. “As parents learn the skills of more effective parenting and really listening to their children, they can nurture their children emotionally, so they can be happy, motivated, empowered teens,” Alvord said.

Montgomery County Schools working to fill hundreds of teacher, staff vacancies

By  Nicole Asbury  Washington Post August 8th 2022

Three weeks before school begins, Montgomery County Public Schools is facing roughly 500 teacher and support staff vacancies, mirroring a national shortage of educators that has left school systems scrambling to fill positions.

The school system — Maryland’s largest with roughly 160,000 students — is trying to recruit and hire teachers in a more competitive environment than in previous years, Schools Superintendent Monifa B. McKnight said Monday during a media briefing on the system’s staffing. The school district’s biggest hiring needs are for special education instructors, elementary school teachers and school psychologists.

School districts across the country — including in Montgomery County — are facing significant staffing shortages as a result of the pandemic that led many teachers to leave the profession. Complaints of burnout, low pay and lack of respect from students, parents and lawmakers have also impacted the number of available teachers and support staff.

Despite the openings, the school system is 98 percent staffed and there has been progress in reducing the vacancies, McKnight said. On July 20, there were 396 teaching positions open, compared to the 157 open as of Monday morning. The superintendent attributed the improvement to the school system’s multiple recruitment efforts, including several in-person job fairs and partnerships with community organizations.

The school system is also seeking to hire 367 support staff — including paraprofessional educators and front office employees — and 16 bus drivers.

D.C.-area schools see spike in teacher resignations

“As we are continuing to set up, even until the first day of school, the process will continue,” McKnight said. “The numbers are going to change.” She said the system will continue to fill vacancies with substitute teachers, including several retirees, until the positions are filled permanently.

While the school system works on hiring,McKnight said it plans to maintain its current class sizes in the upcoming school year, which starts Aug. 29. Maximum class sizes vary by grade-level and program. Secondary schools, for example, usually have a maximum class size of 32 students.

The number of teachers who resigned at the end of the most recent school year, 576, was actually less than the previous year when 610 left, according to data provided by the school system in June. The number of teachers who left their jobs in the most recent year is equivalent to about 4 percent of the workforce.

Retirements, however, were up in Montgomery County this year, which has caused more staffing shortages, said Jennifer Martin, president of the Montgomery County Education Association, a union that represents over 14,000 teachers. Martin regularly spoke at county school board meetings during the last school year, warning of increasesin teacher and support staff retirements and resignations.

Montgomery teachers union concerned with timing of teacher transfers

Martin was invited to the news conference Monday, but did not attend. Two leaders of unions representingadministrators and support staff were present.

Martin said it felt inappropriate to attend, since many of the union’s pleas for workload relief and initiatives to address staff burnout have been unheard, she said in an interview Monday. The union put out its own statement after the news conference, writing that staff members continue to experience “ongoing disrespect” that affects teacher retention. The union criticized a move made by the system in July to involuntarily transfer a handful of teachers to different schools about a month before the start of the school year.

“I completely agree with my sister presidents and the unions who were there today, and with Dr. McKnight, who want to ensure that MCPS is a wonderful place to work,” Martin said in an interview. “But right now, we’re in disagreement with MCPS as to what teachers need for that to be the case.”

Kids’ Mental Health Is a ‘National Emergency.’ Therapists Are in Short Supply.


By Jessica Grose  Opinion Writer New York Times August 14th 2022 p. 10


At the beginning of the year, I started hearing from readers across the country that there were long waiting lists for child and adolescent mental health providers. Many of their kids were really struggling, often with anxiety and depression. When these parents tried to find help, they found there was, in some cases, up to a six-month wait to even get in the door at a therapist’s office for an assessment.

This shortage is not just anecdotal, and in some places it existed before the pandemic produced so much suffering that the American Academy of Pediatrics declared child and adolescent mental health a “national emergency” back in October. Part of the reason for the shortage is that the need for services has increased consistently over time, and the number of child and teen providers has not kept pace.

According to a recent paper published in JAMA Pediatrics, “Between 2016 and 2020, there were significant increases in children’s diagnosed anxiety and depression.” In 2019, Pew Research found that “the total number of teenagers who recently experienced depression increased 59 percent between 2007 and 2017.” Then the pandemic came along. According to a meta-analysis across 29 samples including over 80,000 youths across the globe published in JAMA Pediatrics last summer, “youth mental health difficulties” during the pandemic have “likely doubled.”

In April 2020, David Axelson, the chief of the department of psychiatry and behavioral health at Nationwide Children’s Hospital in Columbus, Ohio, described the severity of the shortage of mental health providers in his hospital’s publication, Pediatrics Nationwide: “Less than half of the 7.7 million children in the United States with an identifiable mental health condition are receiving services from any mental health provider, much less a psychiatrist.”

Earlier this year, the American Psychological Association described a similar shortage of providers: “Only 4,000 out of more than 100,000 U.S. clinical psychologists are child and adolescent clinicians,” Ashley Abramson wrote as part of the A.P.A.’s 2022 Trends Report. School psychologists are also in “short supply,” she notes.

If you’re looking for a provider with a more specific background or cultural competency, resources can be similarly scarce. For example, according to the magazine Insight Into Diversity, data from the American Academy of Pediatrics “shows that only 2 percent of the estimated 41,000 psychiatrists in the U.S. are Black and just 4 percent of psychologists are Black.” “There are no providers in my area that cover both L.G.B.T.Q. issues and issues for the rest of my mental health,” one young person told The Trevor Project, an organization that serves L.G.B.T.Q. youth. And none of this addresses the cost of coverage, a barrier for many families.

Muniya Khanna, the director of the Philadelphia-area Children’s and Adult Center for O.C.D. and Anxiety, told me that the need for therapists has been steadily increasing over the past 20 years, but has exploded over the past two years. “We’re a general population clinic, and we used to get two to three new calls a week,” Khanna said. “Now we’re getting two to three calls per day.” She did note that the increase in need is not all bad — part of it is that there is less stigma about getting help for mental health issues, and there’s more awareness.

Still, the shortage remains, and you can’t just conjure a reserve force of mental health professionals out of thin air. Good mental health training takes years. I wanted to know: What can parents do in the absence of promptly available care? (To be clear: If your child, or anyone, is experiencing a mental health emergency, such as suicidal ideation, that calls for immediate assistance. The new suicide and crisis lifeline number to dial is 988, though, as The Times reported in July, there are some concerns that it, too, may not have adequate staffing everywhere in the country.)

While it may be difficult to get a depressed teenager out of bed, good habits matter more than you might think for your child’s mental health, said the psychologist Lisa Damour, the author of “Under Pressure: Confronting the Epidemic of Stress and Anxiety in Girls.”

“Though it is not the same as good psychotherapy, don’t underestimate the power of the basics,” she told me. “Making sure your young person is getting enough sleep, they’re getting enough physical activity, they’re eating a balanced diet. If possible, keep them busy with purposeful activities. These things go further than we sometimes expect.”

There are resources you can use at home, books and online programs, that can help your family. The online resources that come most recommended are often rooted in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (C.B.T.), which “usually involves efforts to change thinking patterns,” according to the A.P.A. Patricia Frazier, a distinguished professor of psychology at the University of Minnesota, has, along with colleagues, studied the effects of internet-delivered C.B.T. programs (I.C.B.T.) on university students and found that they were “feasible, acceptable and effective.”

These I.C.B.T. programs tend to be a combination of text, videos and exercises that help explain the roots of anxiety, then encourage users to identify what may be triggering overwhelming feelings, and then offer exercises to help address these feelings. For example, the free app MindShift C.B.T., from the nonprofit Anxiety Canada, allows you to log your daily feelings and then write a short journal entry about the reason behind the feeling. You can also list symptoms you may experience, like racing thoughts, chest tightness or nausea. It gives you a series of tools to use, like guided audio for calm breathing or test anxiety, or “coping cards” that provide affirmations like “Learning to sit with some uncertainty will help me worry less.”

Frazier told me the body of research on the effectiveness of I.C.B.T. programs is “incredibly strong.” She pointed me to this 2019 review in the Canadian Journal of Psychiatry, which found that “I.C.B.T. works and can be as effective as face-to-face therapy.” But it’s worth noting that these studies were done on adults, not on children or teenagers, and that many of them had a trained professional helping to run the I.C.B.T. programs.

Patrick McGrath, an emeritus professor of psychiatry at Dalhousie University in Nova Scotia who has studied the effectiveness of I.C.B.T. in adolescents, told me that parents looking for reputable resources should start with the websites of children’s hospitals and professional organizations. He recommended Magination Press Children’s Books from the American Psychological Association, as well as the “C.B.T. Toolbox” series of books. As for online resources, he said that he refers people to MAP, or My Anxiety Plan, also from Anxiety Canada, which has a multipart online course for teenagers.

McGrath mentioned CopingCat, which includes an online resource called Camp Cope-A-Lot. It’s an animated program that helps teach parents and kids ages 7-13 C.B.T. skills and that was developed by Khanna and Philip Kendall, a professor of psychology at Temple University. She told me that she sees the program as a learning resource, not necessarily as a therapeutic one. The C.B.T. skills she teaches in talk therapy, like identifying triggers of anxiety and using tools like journaling and breathing, “are learnable concepts, and therapists are just better and more trained to teach the concepts,” she said.

If your kids aren’t interested in books or online resources, Khanna said, there is value in learning as much as you can about what they’re going through, so you can be prepared if they do come around. “I know there’s going to be a lot of kids who won’t sit down and go through a program because their mom and dad recommended it,” she said. But that doesn’t mean you can’t buy them a book and leave it around or suggest to school counselors that they might run a group that can teach some C.B.T. concepts.

Ultimately there will still be many kids who can benefit from in-person therapy. Khanna suggested that if you’re told there’s a monthslong waiting list, keep calling back periodically. While she notes this is an unfair burden on parents, unfortunately there is no solution in the near term. But as you’re waiting for the lists to move, it’s good to know that there are quality resources that can potentially help fill the void.


  • In 2021, for The Times, Dani Blum filled us in on therapy TikTok, “where a steady stream of mental health professionals are trying to meet an anxious generation of young people where they are on social media.”
  • This year, for The Times, Matt Richtel spent more than a year interviewing adolescents and their families for his series the “Inner Pandemic,” about the mental health crisis among American teenagers.
  • In May, I wrote about how it’s been a dispiriting couple of years for Gen Zers, and why they’ve earned their cynicism.

Parenting can be a grind. Let’s celebrate the tiny victories.

When my 5-year-old daughter lost her first teeth, I asked what she hoped the tooth fairy would bring. “A rock,” she said. I pushed back — not money or a lollipop? “A gray rock,” she said. And that’s why the tooth fairy leaves rocks at our house.

— Amanda Keim-Morrison, Saint Paul, Minn.

When Vin Scully was calling the game, even fans in the stands brought radios

What has this to do with AmeriCorps? As much as AmeriCorps has to do with AmeriSports. We could not resist the amazing writing and about an amazing character. One did not have to follow baseball to feel moved.

And if there is a lesson here, it might be that sometimes words get in the way of the listening. Just shut up and let the moment speak for itself.


By Rick Reilly Contributing columnist Washington Post August 4, 2022 at 12:03 p.m. EDT

Schools sometimes ask me to come talk about sports writing. When I do, I always get up, put some text on a big screen and say, “See if you can guess who wrote it. It’s about Sandy Koufax’s epic perfect game in 1965.” On the screen, it says

You can almost taste the pressure now … Koufax lifted his cap, ran his fingers through his black hair, then pulled the cap back down, fussing at the bill … There’s 29,000 people in the ballpark and a million butterflies … I would think that the mound at Dodger Stadium right now is the loneliest place in the world.

Red Smith? Mike Lupica? Jim Murray?

Nope. Trick question. It wasn’t written at all. It was spoken, live, as it happened, by Dodgers broadcaster Vin Scully.

That’s how wonderful Scully was at calling a baseball game. Words he ad-libbed could keep an engraver busy for decades.

Scully, who died Tuesday at age 94, was such a joy to listen to that even fans who were at the game brought radios. Sure, my eyes saw it, but it’s not real until Vin describes it.

And not just fans. One time in the 1970s, Dodgers pitcher Jerry Reuss was on the mound at Dodger Stadium, and he could hear on all the radios that Vinny was in the middle of a story. “I can hear by his cadence, his inflection,” Reuss said. So he stepped off the rubber and fussed with the rosin bag. “He got his point out,” Reuss recalled a few years ago, “people laughed, and without missing a beat, he said, ‘Now Reuss is ready to deliver.’ ” Nobody delivered like Scully.

That’s the most remarkable part of Scully’s greatness. He did 95 percent of it without a partner, by design. Why did he need a partner when he had you? “I want it to feel like I’m talking to you,” he used to say. “That’s why you’ll hear me use a lot of, ‘Did you know that?’ or ‘You’re probably wondering why.’ I don’t really do play-by-play. I do conversation.”

My God, could he converse. Scully was so entertaining he could make you look forward to a Los Angeles traffic jam. Living in L.A., I see someone sitting at the wheel of their car in the driveway, engine running, staring at the dashboard, and I know what’s going on: Scully is in mid-story and they just can’t bear going into the house before it’s over.

He was like that in person, too. We were having lunch once when I asked him about a hole-in-one he’d just made.

“Well, it’s funnnnnny,” he said in that voice you’d never forget. “I was playing with a guy who’d make a cup of cohhhhhfee nervous and I wasn’t exactly having a ticker-tape day. Well, it sooooounded like I hit it with the Sunday paper. But as it happens, I’d chosen the wrooooong club, and — looooo and behoooold — the ball rolls straight up into the cup! Thus, disproving the oooooold adage: Two wrongs sometimes do make a right.”

Scully was born to do this. When he was a boy in the Bronx, his family had a big radio that perched on top of four legs. He’d take a pillow, a glass of milk and some crackers, lie under it, and listen to football games. His favorite part was in a big moment when the announcer would stop talking and he could hear the roar of the crowd. “That, to me, was thrilling,” he said.

Scully’s dulcet voice — and his dulcet silences — are woven through the history of American sports. He called Hank Aaron’s 715th home run (“A Black man is getting a standing ovation in the Deep South,” he said), San Francisco 49ers wide receiver Dwight Clark’s fingertip catch against the Cowboys in the 1981 NFC championship game (“It’s a maaaaaadhouse in Candlestick!”), Kirk Gibson’s shocking pinch-hit World Series homer (“And, look who’s coming up!”).

What a life he lived. It wasn’t perfect, of course. Nobody’s is. His first wife died at age 35 in 1972, from an accidental prescription drug overdose. A son died in a helicopter crash in 1994. His beloved Sandra, his second wife, of 47 years, suffered from Lou Gehrig’s disease (ALS) and died last year. He’d been fading ever since.

The last out comes for everybody. Scully understood that. Once in the 1990s, in listing that night’s injury report, he said, “Andre Dawson has a bruised knee and is listed as day-to-day” — pregnant pause — “aren’t we all?”

Vin Scully was loved in L.A. like nobody who came before him. The Los Angeles Times once did a Final Four-style tournament bracket called “The Biggest L.A. Sports Icon.” The final came down to Vin Scully vs. Magic Johnson. Vin won in a landslide.

It hurts knowing I’ll never get to hear the greatest announcer who ever lived tell another story or turn a drowsy 6-1 game into pure theater. So I’ll do now what Vin taught me to do: Be quiet and let the crowd roar.


https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/2022/08/04/vin-scully-baseball-radio-appreciation/