12 Teenagers on What Adults Don’t Get About Their Lives

March 30, 2022 Paul Costello1 Uncategorized

By Patrick Healy and Lulu Garcia-Navarro New York Times March 27th 2022

Mr. Healy is the deputy Opinion editor. Ms. Garcia-Navarro is a Times Opinion podcast host.

The 12 teenagers were tentative at first, silent after a focus group moderator asked how they felt about high school today. Charlotte, a 17-year-old from Pennsylvania, broke the ice after eight seconds: “I would say stressed.” Others followed along similar lines, though a few also said “normal” and “safe” — not the words that usually jump to mind about school, but this is Covid-era, post-virtual-learning school we’re talking about.

What quickly became clear in our latest Times Opinion focus group, and what may have accounted for some tentativeness, is that several of the teenagers felt worried about being “judged” about what they said. No matter if the answer was their opinion — some were worried about saying the “wrong” thing. “If you’re not super educated on a topic, it’s scary to put your opinion out there, because you don’t want to be wrong,” Charlotte said at another point in the focus group.

Many of the teenagers felt most comfortable when they were with friends or family, but 10 of the 12 also described being “addicted” to social media and meeting people and exploring the world online. They talked about having difficult conversations in class, and they clearly yearned to be able to have open discussions where everyone could share their opinions and not get pounced on for being “wrong” in the eyes of some.

What surprised us the most were the teenagers’ answers to what concerns them about the future and what they would ask their 40-year-old self if they had the chance. No spoilers here — but it may not be what you think.

This is the seventh group in our series America in Focus, which seeks to hear and understand the views of wider cross-sections of Americans whose voices are often not heard in opinion journalism. We conducted the discussion with Margie Omero, a veteran focus group leader. (Times Opinion paid her for the work; she does similar work for political candidates, parties and special interest groups.) This transcript has been edited for length and clarity; an audio recording and video clips of the session are also included.

Margie Omero: Here’s the first question — just fill in the blank: “I feel blank about the way things are going in my school today.”

Charlotte (white, 17 years old, from Pennsylvania): I would say stressed.

Thomas (Black, 16, from Missouri): Satisfied.

Paden (white, 16, from Georgia): Overworked.

America (Latino, 17, from California): Safe.

Emmanuel (Black, 15, from Illinois): Normal. Everything is pretty normal.

Jackie (white, 16, from New Jersey): Conflicted.

Nicholas (white, 16, from South Carolina): Overwhelmed.

Margie Omero: Thomas, tell me why satisfied.

Thomas: Last year we had to do online for most of the year. We’re in-person now. We’re learning more. Online, some people don’t pay as much attention.

Margie Omero: Other folks, tell me why you’re feeling stressed, overwhelmed, overworked.

Milan (Black, 17, from Arizona): Sometimes the counselors or teachers are not always the most understanding. They don’t give you ways to help manage stress. You just have to figure it out on your own sometimes.

Jackie: Not a lot of the teachers are understanding of when you’re stressed, all your work is being piled up upon you. It gets too much.

Margie Omero: Take us into your world — school, class, clubs, sports, time with friends, social media, texting. In which part of your world do you feel most like yourself, most comfortable?

Paden: I would say when I’m at home and alone, because there’s no one around who can judge me. I can just be myself. I don’t have to worry about how other people think about me in a certain situation.

Gabby (white, 16, from Indiana): I’m on the swim team. They’re like a second family to me. I can really be myself without being judged. I have a community that I’m able to be myself with.

Milan: I feel like myself when I’m with my family. They’re my comfort zone, and there’s no problems when I’m with them.

Emmanuel: I feel most like myself on social media, especially TikTok. I like to watch videos, make comments.

Margie Omero: What makes you feel more comfortable on TikTok, Emmanuel?

Emmanuel: Basically, I don’t necessarily put myself out. I’m just anonymous. So I just comment on whatever I like.

Margie Omero: For folks who said they were worried about being judged, what do you feel judged about?

Paden: I’m particular about my appearances and anything just about me.

Milan: Maybe if you’re different, because sometimes people don’t accept differences in a positive way.

Lulu Garcia-Navarro: I’m going to ask you to do a show of hands. This is the question: When you’re with friends or with people your age, do you feel you’re most like yourself when you’re talking to them in-person, or texting or chatting with them on social media? Who feels most like yourself in-person?

[Ten people out of twelve raise their hands.]

Lulu Garcia-Navarro: And who feels like it’s when you’re chatting with them online?

[Nicholas raises his hand.]

Lulu Garcia-Navarro: Nicholas, why do you feel like you’re more connected when you’re online?

Nicholas: When I’m talking in-person, I tend to do a lot of mistakes that are preventable by texting. My voice cracks a lot. I stutter a lot. And with texting, I can get it across. And if I need to imply a tone, I can put an emoji.

Lulu Garcia-Navarro: Why is it easier in person?

Eva (white, 16, from Pennsylvania): I think it’s easier for people to understand your mood. And things can be taken the wrong way through text.

Lulu Garcia-Navarro: When you’re putting something out on any of the platforms, like TikTok or Instagram, do you think about what you’re sharing? How often do you regret it and delete it?

Owen (white, 14, from Connecticut): If I post something, and I’m not a big fan of it — it’s because I try to be cool and make my friends feel happy — I try to make people laugh. But then sometimes I’m like, that’s not really funny. I shouldn’t really have posted that.

Charlotte: I have an account where it’s just my closer friends. So I think less when I’m posting something on there, because I know it’s just them seeing it. My main Instagram has more people. So I think about what I post more on there.

Margie Omero: What are some words that would describe how you feel while you’re on social media? TikTok, YouTube, Twitter, Instagram. What’s the word that would describe how you’re feeling?

Brett (white, 16, from Massachusetts): Addicted. I get sucked in for a couple hours.Video00:001:001:00

How Do You Feel While You Are On Social Media?

Margie Omero: How many people say, I feel or I’m worried that I’m addicted?

[All but Nicholas and America raise their hands. ]

Eva: I’ve tried deleting all of social media before. And it didn’t go well, because I got really bored, and I wanted to know what my friends were doing.

Milan: Instead of deleting it, I just turn my notifications off. But I still go on there periodically throughout the day.

Charlotte: I tried the time-limit thing, but I didn’t really like that. And I tried deleting it, but I felt like I was disconnected from my friends. So I just turned my notifications off, and I don’t really feel like I have to go on it a lot.

Margie Omero: OK, let me ask another question. So how, if at all, do you feel social media has affected your mental health? Jackie?

Jackie: I feel like it can have a negative effect, because I’ve seen some people — they edit their pictures or whatever. Like, you’ll see people with all these healthy routines and bodies and stuff. And it makes you insecure about yourself. But more positively, you can communicate with other people. You can fill your content, mostly on TikTok or Instagram, with things you like.

Margie Omero: Have other people had that feeling that Jackie mentioned, that they see pictures, and it makes you feel like anxious?

Charlotte: I definitely do. And I think it’s just hard because everybody puts their best photos out there on social media. But from a viewer perspective, that’s all you’re seeing.

Milan: They edit pictures a lot. People change the lighting, or they change their face. Or if you see it in real life, the way they pose to make their bodies look certain ways — it’s just not realistic sometimes. And it can make other people be insecure, because they see this image. That’s what I’m supposed to look like. But in real life, they don’t even look like that.

Margie Omero: So we’re going to have a couple raise-your-hands questions. Here’s the first one. I’ve met new people and made new friends on social media. How many people say that describes them very well?OPINION CONVERSATIONWhat will work and life look like after the pandemic?

[Seven raise their hands.]

Margie Omero: I often fight with my parents about my social-media use.

[No one raises their hands.]

Margie Omero: My parents know how much time I spend on social media.

[Eight of the 12 raise their hands.]

Lulu Garcia-Navarro: What is something that you might have learned in the past few months through social media?

America: I learned a lot about the Ukraine and Russia situation through Twitter. That’s really how I’ve been keeping up-to-date with what’s been going on. I get all of it from news sources.

Charlotte: The Ukraine situation, a lot of people reposted stuff about that. I find a lot of information through Twitter, especially around the election time.

Lulu Garcia-Navarro: If something big happens in the world, would you turn on the TV, or would you go to social media, Twitter, TikTok?

Emmanuel: I would go to Twitter.

Milan: I’d probably go to Instagram to see, and maybe Twitter.

Brett: I just get the news from Instagram stories.

Lulu Garcia-Navarro: So you won’t go to television, though.

Brett: Well, if I come home, and my parents have the news on, I’ll watch it. But I usually don’t try to watch the news, because it’s usually biased.

Lulu Garcia-Navarro: When you say biased, tell me what you mean.

Brett: Well, I did this project in my school last year on biased versus non-biased. And we found that most news articles have some biased stuff in it. So usually, you want to look one side and then one side, and then find the similarities in them. And then compare the two and then see what’s true and what’s not so you don’t get these false facts in your head.

Lulu Garcia-Navarro: Does anyone else feel like the news is biased?

Eva: I kind of feel that way, but I also tend to look at multiple different sources. I won’t just look at one network for all of my information.

Margie Omero: OK, we’re going to move on to a different topic. How well do you think your schools are teaching the topics you need? History, social studies, literature. Are there topics that classes are leaving out that you feel like you need to know?

Jackie: I feel like with my history class, we went over the 1900s. And I feel like they should also talk more about racial equality, because it’s something that’s a problem at my school. My school doesn’t really have diversity. I feel like it’s important that we talk about racial inequality and stuff in history, because I feel like that’s something that’s important to me — treating each other equally, not just based on our race, but equally.

Charlotte: I would agree with that. Last year, when I took U.S. history, I think they should have talked about race inequality much more than they did.

Margie Omero: Some people say that they’re concerned about the way race and history in America are taught and discussed. How many people say they’ve heard of the phrase, critical race theory?

[America, Gabby, and Paden raise their hands.]

Gabby: They have this class at my school; it goes over a lot of different injustices that we see in the world. And one of them was racial injustice. And that definitely came up when we were studying that.

Nicholas: I’ve only talked about it lightly in my debate class.Video00:005:335:33Is It Hard To Talk About Difficult Subjects In School?

Lulu Garcia-Navarro: Do you find it’s hard to talk about difficult subjects in the school setting? Does it make you feel uncomfortable, bad about yourself to talk about historical issues or present issues of inequality, slavery, topics like that?

Paden: It can feel kind of uncomfortable, because you think that other people may not have the same beliefs as you. And that can scare a lot of people or make you feel very uneasy.

Charlotte: If we talk about something in class, I’ll talk about it with my friends, and also our opinions on how it was taught by our teachers. If we agree with what they were saying, or if we agree with what one of our classmates was saying, or if we found something that they said offensive, maybe.

Lulu Garcia-Navarro: Mm-hmm. Is it hard to have those talks?

Charlotte: It can be intimidating to put your opinion out there to your whole class.

Lulu Garcia-Navarro: Tell me why.

Charlotte: Just because maybe you’re worried that somebody will disagree with you. I feel like I took speech and debate, so I became much more comfortable with it because that forced you to put your opinion out there. But I also think, if you’re not super educated on a topic, it’s scary to put your opinion out there, because you don’t want to be wrong.

Lulu Garcia-Navarro: Who agrees with that, that sometimes it can feel scary, about sensitive subjects, to talk about them in class or with your friends?

[Eight out of 12 people raise their hands.]

Gabby: It’s not really that it’s a right or wrong answer. It’s more like, you just don’t want people to look at you differently if they disagree with what you’re saying, because it can just be hard sometimes to voice your own opinion if everyone else in the class has a different one.

Brett: I just feel like sensitive subjects — if you talk about it, you might be scared that someone might have a different opinion than you and that they feel like there’s a right or wrong answer. Then you’ll feel pressured into changing your opinion.

Lulu Garcia-Navarro: Has there been a time, a moment when that happened that you could remember?

Brett: Not for me, personally. But I know, in some classes that I’ve been in, there had been some topics that I feel like if I decide to talk, then I feel like I might have different opinions than other people. And I might have to change my opinion, because I’ll feel pressured.

Milan: There are some topics in class where sometimes it’ll feel uncomfortable just to speak, just the tension in the room, or just because if others don’t agree with you or don’t understand your point of view, then that can cause fear too.

Thomas: If you’re talking about sensitive topics to your class rather than talking to your friends — I feel that your friends won’t judge you for what you said. They won’t be as offended as if you’re talking to someone you don’t know.

Lulu Garcia-Navarro: Tell me about some of the topics that feel uncomfortable.

Thomas: If it has to do something with race and your friend group is the same race as you, then maybe if you’re talking to the class, someone is a different race than you, then maybe they’ll be offended by what you said.

Lulu Garcia-Navarro: Was there a specific moment that you could think of where something might have happened?

Thomas: Not really. I’m just saying in general.

Lulu Garcia-Navarro: Milan, what about you? Was there a specific moment?

Milan: Not to me. But I’ve seen other people in the class where I could tell they wanted to say something, but they were just scared. And multiple people in the class will feel like that. And the teacher won’t pull it out of them. So it’ll just be an uncomfortable conversation that didn’t finish.

Margie Omero: How many people say, we were having a class discussion about a certain topic, and it got uncomfortable.

[Nine raise their hands.]

Margie Omero: Keep your hand raised if it got uncomfortable for you, if you felt uncomfortable that somebody was going to challenge you, or somebody did challenge you or was offended by something you said.

[Five keep their hands raised.]

Nicholas: I feel more uncomfortable talking about the past, because there’s more different reactions when it comes to it. And it just comes down to human rights and stuff like that. And people look at it a different way. And some people aren’t able to explain why they think that way without people cutting them off and insulting them.

Margie Omero: Can you give me an example?

Nicholas: It was a kid who was condemning Hitler’s actions. And a kid said that he believed that — he said that Hitler believed that Jews caused Germany to lose World War I. And the people just jumped on him, calling him antisemitic.

Margie Omero: Can other folks recall an experience where someone was talking in class about something, and it got uncomfortable?

Jackie: It was the Ukraine situation. And my history teacher was talking about it. And there was a group of kids in my class, mostly girls, that were like, why don’t we do something, or why don’t we get involved? And my teacher was saying, we don’t want to. And there was a big debate back and forth of if people are going to actually get drafted and things like that. And it caused the whole class, pretty much, a huge debate about if we’re going to do something, if we should, and what the situation is like for us.

Margie Omero: How many people have had an experience where they left class feeling upset?

America: There was a presentation on food stamps and the people they go to and how people find alternative ways to use them. But it was framed in a way as, everyone who gets them ends up using them for something else or giving them to other people to use or things like that. And they weren’t actually taking into consideration the people who actually use them and benefit from them. So I felt like it was just a really underdeveloped conversation, which is why I walked away feeling a certain way about it.

Lulu Garcia-Navarro: Adults are talking a lot about what gets taught in schools — what books, what to say about race in America, what to say about being gay, what to say about climate change or Covid. And I’m wondering, what do you think adults are missing? What would you want adults to know about those conversations?

Charlotte: What adults don’t realize is that just because we hear something in school doesn’t mean we’re automatically going to agree with what we hear. Just because our teacher may be biased one way doesn’t mean that we’re necessarily going to take what they say and believe that’s right. I think it’s really important for schools to have open discussions where everybody can share their opinions so you can hear different perspectives and not just your teachers.

Eva: I think that adults should also carry these conversations through in their homes so that their kids or anyone can get a fair opportunity to understanding different perspectives.

America: Adults have a lot of say in what goes on in their children’s education. But also, they need to take in mind that their children are a different generation, and we think about things differently than they did. It’s just adjusting to the times, because you are teaching a new generation of students.

Nicholas: Parents’ and adults’ arguments are that they don’t want teachers influencing their kids on what they believe. But in a way, it goes for the parents as well. Whatever they say to a kid, that might stick with them for a long, long time. If kids are raised to be racist or homophobic, they’re going to believe that’s right, because their parents are teaching them that way. At some age, you’re going to have to let the teachers explain the facts to them with no bias in it and let the child decide for themselves.

Lulu Garcia-Navarro: Looking into the future, is there something that you think you should be concerned about?

Paden: Colleges are very expensive. A lot of people get a lot of student loan debt. So I think one of the biggest things is, apply yourself now and do well, and apply for scholarships and get a lot of your tuition paid for.

Gabby: I think it’s the stress of having to know that the future is coming and that you have to really be prepared for it. You have to start acting more like an adult than a kid. Transitioning to that is scary.

Lulu Garcia-Navarro: I want to ask how, if at all, Covid has changed you personally. Does anyone have any thoughts about how the last two years of the pandemic has changed you?

Jackie: When the pandemic started, my mental health was going bad, being stuck in the house and not being able to go out. But now that the mandates are being lifted, and we’re able to go out more, it definitely helped my mental health.

Gabby: During the pandemic, my mom got diagnosed with breast cancer, and so her immunity was really low. And I think that that was really stressful on my entire family, because it was hard because it was already stressful enough. And then you have to add this portion into it. So it just put a lot of stress on us, because we all just wanted to be safe. You had to isolate yourself away from everyone, because you don’t want to get her sick.

Lulu Garcia-Navarro: And how is it now?

Gabby: It’s a lot better. She had her surgery, and they got it all out. And all of us are fully vaccinated, and all my friends are. So it’s definitely a lot easier now. But it was definitely very stressful before.

Lulu Garcia-Navarro: Anyone else have a story about Covid and how it felt?

Paden: For me, it was realizing that I really do need to take school seriously. When it was virtual, it was really hard to sit behind a computer screen for eight hours and just learn when you have so many things that can distract you. At one point, our school district said that from this point on, your grade can no longer drop. I feel like that was the green light for a lot of people to say, we’re not going to do anything anymore. And I definitely think that impacted how much you really learned in that school year, which made it difficult for the upcoming school year.Video00:003:293:29What Would You Ask Your 30-Year-Old Self?

Margie Omero: One last question. Let’s say you were having a conversation with your 30-year-old self or your 40-year-old self. What would you want to know? What would you ask your 40-year-old self?

Jackie: I would probably ask how my mental health is doing and if it’s gotten better, if it’s worse.

Charlotte: The mental health thing. And I’d be curious as to what I was doing, because now I’m not super sure.

Thomas: I’d probably ask myself how my family is doing, because they’re really important to me.

Eva: I’d probably ask what I’m doing with my life, career-wise, and how my family is, too.

America: I would honestly ask if I had a steady income, if I was making good money, and probably if I was just genuinely happy with the life I’ve created.

Paden: Yeah, I would just ask myself, how well did I turn out? And also, for me, the biggest thing is, are my parents still around? Because especially right now, in your younger life, they’re a big part of the decisions you make. And I feel like when they’re not around, it could be a lot more difficult.

Emmanuel: My career, and then my kids.

Owen: I’d ask how my family is and if I’m successful — what I have to do to be that successful.

Milan: I would just see what I’m doing, the people around me, my occupation, stuff like that.

Nicholas: I would ask what my family is doing, and how democracy and how the world are going.

Gabby: I would probably want to know if I was happy and healthy, and if my parents were OK.

Original Article Here with Video

Everyone is Talking about the kids, no one is talking to the kids

March 26, 2022 Paul Costello1 Uncategorized

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Office of Student and Family Support and Engagement - Montgomery County Public Schools, MD

A former Superintendent of our local school district was such a big fan of evidence and transparency that he insisted that every school share a public report card. Go on to the school web site and you will see all the data, the graduation rate, the number of FARMS kids, the latest survey of the parents and their assessment of the school, how the teachers feel about the students and about school leadership. It is all very impressive until you realize that that there is one essential piece of data missing. No one is asking the students how they feel, about life, about the school, and about themselves!

Imagine a hospital that surveys the doctors and nurses and the visitors but did not bother to ask the patients? Imagine a university that neglected to survey the students experience? The missing piece is what school is all about, surely? But our educators are rightly preoccupied with restart and system recovery right now. Student views of their own needs are not exactly in that equation.

Since the return to in-person school, the message has gone out loud and clear that students are behind. We must test and test to see how far we need to make up. We need extra tutors and remedial math and all the rest. There are other headlines that alarm us with the news that students are having a mental health crisis. There are real concerns about depression and abuse and spikes in suicide rates that any educator or parent would be concerned about. But even here, no one is quoting much solid data about what students are thinking or feeling about their predicament. It is all defined and declared by the experts more intent on subject testing as the best measure of education. If there is SEL (Social Emotional Learning) evidence, it is mostly anecdotal.

Why is that?

Perhaps it is still the case that parents know best, or the educators are the best trained experts to assess progress. What does a kid know? He or she is just a kid-right? But if you are invested in a view of education that is emancipatory, if education is about teaching students more about how to learn than what to learn, then they might have something to say. Our students might have learned a few things from the pandemic that teachers have yet to catch up on. Some of it might even be good! Students may have picked up lazy or different learning habits that are contributing to our struggle to get back to some normalcy. We know for sure that teachers are struggling. They are making that known, loud and clear. Schools cannot find enough substitute teachers or even bus drivers. Unions are insisting on extra pay or extra days off. But when it comes to the students, they are more being talked about than being talked to. How sad.

Let’s face it. Regardless of dynamic ZOOM sessions, students have learned to learn without school. Their range of freedom to log in or log out, to show up or shut down, to do the homework or slack off, was never more expanded than during COVID. We had no virtual truancy officers but teachers know, 30-50% of their class went missing at times. Students could do what they wanted. Who was there to stop them, unless parents were vigilant at home to ensure their kids attended ZOOM classes? What working parent had time to do that? Well off kids had well resourced parents who could hire individual tutors. In some ways, they never had it better. But for normal and struggling families, COVID put the kids in charge of school. Think about the consequences of that.

This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is image-8-1024x1024.png

Students returning to in-person school are returning to a regime of classrooms and schedules and tight rules of conformity that COVID once made irrelevant. We are calling it a mental health crisis, but who for? Mostly for teachers I suspect, who are addressing students once again compelled to classrooms, students who have become so used to freedoms and options never before imagined. Students are showing up in person but logging out, not showing up with their learning faces, much like they did on ZOOM.

In all this scramble to get back to school and get back to normal, no one is taking the time to ask the students how they think or feel. What did they learn when school was out? For all the obsession with social emotional learning, no one is asking on a consistent basis how they feel about themselves, their confidence, their excitement about learning, their coping skills to get along with others, or to deal with hardships and their sense of the future.

That is where MYSCORE comes in. MyScore you say? Yes, a simple instrument that we created 4 years ago to push back against the testing obsession and to say to students, we care about how you score yourself. Your voice matters, especially in the matter where only you are the expert, YOU. Only you are on the inside of you. We are asking students about what we call the 5C’s:

-how confident are you? (Confidence)
-how excited are you about learning? (Curious) ,
-how well do you get along with others? (Collaboration) ,
-what do you do when things get hard? (Courage)
-how hopeful are you about the future? (Career-Future Focus)

So you failed your math exam, how do you feel about you? Does that make you a failure? So you won the award for scholar of the month, how do you feel about you? Does that make you a success?

When what we measure is external, the reading scores, the math tests, the behavior that we document in class, the assignments handed in or not, we are making what seems a logical assumption that what we can see on the outside is the best predictor of what we assume is on the inside. Evidence based education is the norm. We have to see it to believe it. But SEL tells us that emotions write a different script altogether. What goes on inside is ultimately where success or failure is determined. What a student is telling themselves about themselves is critical. How come we have no access to that?

You failed your Math test but inside, you are a fighter and you readily accept the challenge to improve. Or you add the low test score to your low life score of being abandoned at 3, fostered 3 times before you reached 12. Another score of Fail is nothing unusual to your sense of how unfair life is. The inside story is much more self- determinative than what happens outside. What happens inside is what gives meaning to what happens outside.

You won the award, so shouldn’t you be proud? Yes, if it weren’t for the divorce or the food insecurity, or the motive to prove to my abusive Dad that I am not a loser. Test scores have become the gospel of education that are in danger of reducing the human to a number, a measure, a scale. Someone is 3 years behind in reading and someone is 2 years ahead in math. So? How does that in any way measure success in the endeavor to become a better human. Results never tell the whole story.

This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is image-9.png — A version of MyScore

Urban myth says Einstein failed physics, and that Lincoln never got passed grade 3. But something within them propelled their life of learning into a quest to be the best. Why don’t we accept the lessons of our most favorite myths? Educating for curriculum is not the same as educating for character.

We are coming off a crisis in education which might have affected us more that it may have affected our kids. Would we be curious enough to test that idea? For us, COVID was an interruption of life’s trajectory, so no wonder we were upset. But for our kids, it is merely part of their growing up. It was the new “new” that teenagers wake up to every day. COVID has taught them something we did not learn. The kids will end up being mostly alright. They will manage, but we are flying blind. We are assuming what we know about them without even bothering to ask them. That is a recipe for disaster.

MCPS hosts community conversation amid omicron surge | wusa9.com

We have a modest data base from 2017-2019 from MySCore that gives us a benchmark to measure change. Before COVID, our challenge in asking students the 5C questions was that they were scoring too high, too early. How can we prove impact if most of them score 5 out of 5? In all 5 C’s before COVID, no C scored lower than 65% in high ratings. Most of our students were scoring themselves 3, 4, or 5 on Confidence, Curiosity, Collaboration, Courage and Career Future Focus. They were flying high.

This school year, we have administered MyScore to our local Middle School in December 2021 and February 2022. We have found that the 65% benchmark is now 45%. Many students have fallen off the cliff. The only two C’s where students have maintained high scores for themselves are Collaboration and Career- Future focus. Their confidence has dropped over 20% and their courage a similar amount, telling us plain and simple that they are not coping so well. But that might also mean not coping with school in its revived pre-covid format.

The most disturbing result is in C2, Curiosity, how excited are you about learning? Scores of upwards of 60% tell us they are NOT excited at all. We thought that with the start of school, the lessened COVID interference might stabilize the scores, and so, we were eager to administer MYSCORE again in February 2022. What we find is that the strengths remain, that collaboration is growing, and Career-Future focus has dropped only slightly, but Courage and their ability to cope has got worse. The lowest score is Curiosity, as in we now have almost 70% NOT excited about learning. Can I say that again. Most students are NOT excited about learning.

If you are an educator who is happy to be back in the class, who has struggled with ZOOM and COVID, you would have to think, your students during COVID have got used to a different style of learning, and they are not ready to just go back to normal. They are kids. Their sense of normal is week by week. If for two years, they learned online, that is what they think learning is. We have made the cardinal mistake of returning to a normal that no longer exists. But how would we know that if we are not taking any time to ask the kids. They are voting with their minds now, in the same way before they were voting with their screens before. “Showing up” is not the same thing as showing up to learn.

The teachers that managed to maintain engagement and commitment during COVID are ones we need to identify and to clone, because they are teachers tested and true. But the rest of us who battled to stay in the game, we have lots to learn about how to sustain engagement and excitement after the pandemic. We have to learn what the students have learned and not interpret their new attitude as all deficit. The fact that they remain so optimistic about the future is astounding. We adults are not that hopeful.

This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is image.jpeg

And their embrace of each other, their strong “Getting along with others” in a nation that seems to be tearing itself apart is equally an unexpected good.

COVID, for better or worse, has made students in charge of their learning. They may have realized that learning is not necessarily the same thing as school. Hence, we can see the misconnect. Students are not coming back to anything they missed, save for their peers. We have to ask them, give them their voices back. The pandemic gave them control that we are now overturning. Is it any wonder they are not impressed. But you did not need COVID to know that students need a say in their own learning, and how they feel about themselves is part of their core curriculum, not just now but for life.

This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is image-6-1024x1024.png — A version of MyScore

The greatest fan of the MyScore was the very same Superintendent who insisted on a public scorecard. Every year, he would tell us that if he was ever back in the classroom, MyScore is what he would be using over and over, to get a sense of how ready the students were to learn. For him, it was also a pledge of mutuality, to demonstrate to his class that learning has to go both ways, that he was ready to learn from them about those subjects that they and they alone were the experts- themselves.

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MyScore is an instrument that its creators are happy to share with any other educators or school systems if they wanted to compare notes on how the students see themselves. It is a copyrighted process that we are happy to give permission for others to use in the interest of better understanding what our students are feeling. For more information, email paul@storywise.com and to learn more about it, go to www.myscore.space.

‘I Still Just Worry’: 3 Teachers on Covid’s Long Shadow Over American Schools

March 22, 2022 Paul Costello1 Uncategorized

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Ana Barros is a middle school teacher in Tulsa, Okla.

By Kalyn Belsha, Melanie Asmar and Lori Higgins New York Times

As class ended on a recent Tuesday, Ana Barros, a middle school teacher, signaled for a seventh grader wearing Crocs to hang back. Minutes earlier, he’d stormed into the hallway, slamming the door in Ms. Barros’s face.

“Walk me through that moment you just had,” she said.

Ms. Barros, who teaches social studies at an Oklahoma charter school, listened with patience. The student had struggled to manage his emotions before the pandemic. A year spent at home when classes were fully remote without the neutral ground that school provided had intensified his anger.

“When you’re mad, when you’re feeling that rage,” she said, “you can’t slam the door.”

“Sorry,” the student replied softly, trying to keep his feelings in check.

“It’s OK,” Ms. Barros said. “But we’ve gotta find a way to channel those moments when you’ve got rage. We’re on the same team. I’m not against you. I want to help you.”

In some ways, this is typical middle school teaching. But the pandemic has upped the volume and intensity of students’ needs and raised the stakes for schools trying to meet them.

The cascade of new challenges started with the onset of the coronavirus in 2020, which closed school buildings and plunged teachers and families into the unknowns of remote learning. The year that followed was a patchwork of remote and in-person instruction, with school districts around the country varying wildly in their policies.

Many hoped this would be the comeback school year, when schools would focus on recovery. The last schools that had been operating remotely fully reopened. Covid relief dollars poured into districts. The availability of vaccines for teens, and then children over 5, created hope.

But just as the pandemic’s emotional and academic toll on students grew clearer last fall, staff shortages hobbled schools. When the virus seemed like it was under control, the Omicron wave of cases brought half-empty classrooms or temporary returns to virtual learning. It’s been a year of survival and triage for teachers, school leaders, students and their families.

Now a shift is underway. Mask mandates have largely lifted, and more Americans say they are ready to leave the pandemic in the rearview mirror. But teachers like Ms. Barros are still grappling daily with issues that Covid has left in its wake, most of which defy easy solutions.

“I really feel scared to say that we’ve turned a corner,” she said. “The things that we were struggling with, even outside of Covid, are just still there.”

In Ms. Barros’s classroom at the Tulsa School of Arts and Sciences, many students require intensive support. One boy didn’t attend a single virtual class as a sixth grader or return when the school building reopened last spring. It’s Ms. Barros’s job to keep him tethered to school.

When another student started clutching a stuffed toy shaped like an avocado, Ms. Barros didn’t press her for a reason. And when one of Ms. Barros’s top students started having panic attacks in class, she helped come up with a plan to calm her heavy breathing. Her school has noticed an uptick in thoughts of self-harm, negative self-talk and meltdowns. More students are asking to see the counselor.

Two years into the upheaval, teachers are depleted. On top of the needs in their classrooms, teachers and their unions have faced scrutiny over school shutdowns, vaccine and mask mandates and Covid safety protocols, leading to labor strife in Chicago and elsewhere.

Some teachers have begun having doubts about their ability to keep going. As three colleagues departed midyear for higher-paying jobs outside the classroom, Ms. Barros, who has taught for four years in Tulsa, found herself scrolling job listings earlier this winter. Like most, she’s sticking it out. “For a while, I was in that victim mentality of ‘woe is me,’ but I do have choices,” she said. “And I’m choosing to stay because I love this.”

But America’s schools remain fragile. As teachers catch their breath after the latest wave of Covid cases, many are teetering between cautious optimism and lingering exhaustion.

Across the country, teachers like Neelah Ali are trying to help students who are struggling emotionally and keep them on track academically after two years of stop-and-start learning.

Ms. Ali teaches freshman biology at Denver’s South High School, where she is also a teacher coach, an assistant track coach, and a sponsor of the dance team, Jewish Club and Black Student Alliance. She’s the kind of teacher who knows nearly everyone and will hop up on a table to help students understand a lesson.

Ms. Ali much prefers in-person teaching to what she called “the abyss” of virtual learning. Students had the option to return to classrooms part-time last spring and have been learning in person all of this school year, though Covid cases meant attendance was spotty until recently. There are signs of genuine joy in school: students giggling together in class, cranking pump-up music in the weight room and eating pizza off trays in the hallways.

But Ms. Ali says her students have less academic stamina than she is used to. Before the pandemic, all of her freshmen would most likely have finished their lab, which involved flipping pennies to determine the odds that two parents’ offspring would have dark hair or freckles, in a 50-minute class period. This year, only one pair of students did. More students are asking for breaks during class, too.

Neelah Ali teaches freshman biology at Denver’s South High School.Credit…Benjamin Rasmussen for The New York Times

“I’m having more conversations with kids about not liking school,” Ms. Ali said.

Students also seem more attached to the digital world. Despite posted signs prohibiting cellphone use, nearly all of Ms. Ali’s students on a recent day had their phones out at some point. A few used them in ways that were arguably academic, walking up to the whiteboard and snapping a photo of the lesson on chromosomes and meiosis to copy it onto paper. For others, the phones were a distraction.

Ms. Ali knows that taking a student’s phone is likely to upset them deeply. That wasn’t as true before the pandemic, she said.

“Now it’s like, if I take the phone, it threatens their identity,” she said. “If I take it, that’s going to damage our relationship so much that I don’t even broach the topic.”

Despite the difficulties, Ms. Ali said she was getting through the curriculum, partly because the pandemic meant fewer guest speakers and field trips. But student absences because of Covid or Covid exposure have been another complication. In each of her classes, several students were on their laptops doing makeup work instead of the penny lab.

The absences, a national challenge this year especially during the Omicron wave, pose a daily dilemma. When should teachers reteach a lesson that some students missed and when should they move on? The answers matter, as ninth-grade success is seen as a key predictor of whether a student will graduate from high school in four years. Last year, graduation rates dipped nationwide and more ninth graders fell behind on credits in some states.

“A lot of teachers are struggling with: Do we make it up or do we not make it up?” Ms. Ali said.

The little boy arrived in Kendra Barclay’s kindergarten classroom on a chilly Detroit morning wearing a white mask so big it was hanging off his face.

“You need a kid’s mask!” she told him, scurrying off to find one.

Mask adjustment is still part of the job for Ms. Barclay, who spent much of that morning transitioning from lessons on letter sounds to gentle, and at times stern, reminders about classroom Covid safety.

“Ch says chuh, chuh, chuh,” Ms. Barclay said as she surveyed the students sitting on the rug in front of her. “Kamryn, you’ve got to cover your nose.”

Though schools in most of the country have lifted their mask mandates, Detroit district leaders are still weighing a potential change. For now, Ms. Barclay continues navigating the physical logistics as well as the emotional toll of teaching in a community that lost thousands to Covid.

“How do you keep 5-year-olds socially distanced?” she said. “They love being near each other. A lot of them need that contact. They need to feel nurtured.”

Ms. Barclay finds a way to do both, and her classroom at Spain Elementary-Middle School in the city’s Midtown neighborhood includes plenty of dancing and singing. When Ms. Barclay needed her students to see how their tongues should sit between their teeth as they make the “th” sound, she moved to the far side of the room and pulled her two masks down for a few seconds.

Kendra Barclay with students at Spain Elementary-Middle School in Detroit.Credit…Erin Kirkland for The New York Times

Kindergarteners practice social distancing in the school hallway.

Back in September, the stress of wanting to serve the students who needed her while avoiding getting sick herself got the best of Ms. Barclay, a South Carolina native who has taught in Detroit since 1999. On the school’s first in-person day, the principal, Frederick Cannon, popped his head in her classroom door before the kids arrived and asked how she was doing. Ms. Barclay burst into tears. “It was just the fear,” she says.

Months later, as she was beginning to feel more comfortable, a new wave of cases disrupted everyone’s lives again. Schools in the district went remote for weeks as the Omicron variant spread and again for winter storms, briefly severing the connection between Ms. Barclay and some of her students. A couple of children signed in daily but never turned their cameras on or responded when she called on them.

Ms. Barclay remains optimistic about her students’ progress, and was grateful recently to be among a group of teachers who received recognition from the district for their work during the pandemic. She knows her students aren’t all where they should be academically, though. She has found herself reteaching lessons from the fall, like how to write words on the correct lines of their handwriting practice paper.

“I’m still committed to coming in every day, trying to push and pull the greatness in and out of them,” she said. “I just still worry. How many of them are going to be prepared for first grade?”

“I have to realize this is just what it is in the world right now, and I am doing all I can.”

A classroom at the Tulsa middle school where Ana Barros teaches.Credit…September Dawn Bottoms for The New York Times

After a winter of emotions that rose and fell with Covid case rates, the nation’s teachers and families are looking to what comes next. Whether their fatigue will stretch on through the spring and even fall. Whether their schools can turn a fragile grip on stability into a firm grasp.

This pandemic may become less acute, but its effects on schools will linger: the children coping with the death of their caregivers, the fissures that remain over how to keep kids healthy and safe, the kindergartners struggling with their ABCs, the seventh graders tamping down anxiety, the high schoolers fretting over their diplomas.

Schools are now spending big on mental health programs, tutoring and other academic recovery efforts — work that is likely to stretch past the three years they have to use their federal relief funds. “Our hardest and most important work lies ahead,” the U.S. education secretary, Miguel Cardona, said recently.

For Ms. Ali in Denver, that work looks like a full school day followed by a three-hour virtual training on a new science curriculum that’s more inclusive and culturally relevant. The changes are important to her, but “burnout feels like it’s a lot closer than it used to be,” she said.

It’s the same for a lot of teachers she talks to, she said. The rising stress “feels like it’s more at our chest than at our feet.”

For Ms. Barclay in Detroit, the work means connecting with her students — whether by listening intently to a retelling of the plot of a “Transformers” movie or offering hugs even when they go against social distancing guidelines.

“I figure, you wouldn’t ask for a hug or a high five if you really didn’t need it,” she said.

And for Ms. Barros in Tulsa, the work looks like this: grading assignments on Sundays, spending her planning periods in meetings with families whose children are struggling and mentoring a new teacher partly to supplement her comparatively low Oklahoma teacher’s salary.

She hopes she’s pushed past the worst of her exhaustion — when she was out sick for seven school days with Covid in January, wracked with guilt, waking up each morning to record a video lesson so her students wouldn’t fall behind.

Now the end of the school year feels within reach. Come fall, she won’t be as in the dark about where her students are, academically and emotionally, as she was this year.

Other challenges aren’t going away. Ms. Barros goes without adequate staffing support even in a normal year, helping translate for the school’sSpanish-speaking families as one of the few bilingual staff members. Her school also serves a disproportionately high share of students with disabilities. Without other teachers or aides in the room to help, it’s Ms. Barros who slips a pillow under the foot of a student with autism to soften the sound of his tapping foot, and Ms. Barros who pulls aside a student with dyslexia to read tricky passages aloud.

After months back together in the school building, she’s seen her students make real progress — reading full chapter books, building friendships with classmates. But they’re still dealing with the ramifications of the Covid years. It will take a wider network of support to truly give her students what they need, Ms. Barros says. To her, that includes greater investment in Tulsa’s under-resourced neighborhoods, stronger bonds between schools and families and more counselors and therapists.

“We haven’t seen fine, ever,” she said. Pre-pandemic, many of the students with disabilities and students of color at her school were “already so underserved.”

“I feel like I’m a piece of the puzzle, and I see myself as a piece of the puzzle,” Ms. Barros said. “And sometimes it’s like, damn, some of those pieces are taking a long time to get here.”

Teachers, please tell us about your pandemic experience

We are no longer accepting submissions.More on schools during the pandemic

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Opinion | Jessica GroseMany Schools Aren’t Made for Kids With Learning Differences. The Pandemic Amplified That.March 16, 2022

Your kids are hearing about Ukraine. Here’s how to help them understand.

March 21, 2022 Paul Costello1 Uncategorized

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By Amy Joyce March 1, 2022 at 9:00 a.m. EST Washington Post

The day after Russia first attacked Ukraine, I passed the Russian Embassy with my 12-year-old son. People were gathered at its ominous gates, protesting that country’s invasion. “What have you heard so far about Ukraine and what’s happening?” I asked him. I was taking advice from experts who say when something scary happens, first ask how much our children know and go from there. My son knew a decent amount. And then I asked: “How do you get your information?”

“SportsCenter,” he said.

He and his 14-year-old brother, who gets much of his news from Instagram, TikTok and texts from friends, had a grasp of what was happening, but they didn’t understand why or how. They also are dodging a lot of misinformation.

If you think your kids don’t know about Putin’s war against Ukraine, you’re wrong. They’re hearing about it, and as their caretakers, we need to make sure information is correct — and that they aren’t immediately anxious that we’re on the verge of World War III.

“Most kids will have heard something about this on TV, radio, social media, from friends,” says Richard Haass, president of the Council on Foreign Relations. And much like the Cuban missile crisis implanted itself on his 11-year-old brain forever, “this won’t be something they’ll forget,” Haass says.

I spoke with several experts who explain how parents of tweens and teens should look to this terrible time as an opportunity to discuss global issues — and to help them understand how to help. Maybe we parents will learn a few things in the process.

Your kids are taking the news in. Now what?

“As much as we think our kids don’t hear what we’re anxious about, I think they do,” says Caroline Netchvolodoff, vice president of education at the Council on Foreign Relations. “I have four sons. One of the things I’ve learned very clearly is kids do pick up on what their parents are anxious about. … They are aware.”

Kids of different ages require different kinds of explanations and parental involvement, she says.

When Emma Humphries asked her 10-year-old what she had heard and what she thought was going on, her daughter said, “I heard we’re going to have a World War III.” Humphries, a former history teacher and now chief education officer at iCivics, a nonprofitthat promotes civics education and provides educational resources for teachers, knew to frame what is happening in a historical way, comparing it to the previous world wars, and explaining how it is different. “Whenever you’re in a current moment and it feels scary or fraught, you can lean into the history and use that for the framework” of your conversation, she says.

For parents of older kids who are accessing Ukraine news via TikTok or other social media, now is the time to get involved. When they mention something they saw or read, sit with them while they show you where they gain their knowledge. Treating this as something you’re figuring out together will keep them from feeling like they have to hide it from you. “In this fog of war, we’re getting such incomplete information,” Humphries says. “So talk to them about their sources. Ask ‘Can we find this information in other places? Are they reputable?’ ”

What is NATO? Ukraine invasion raises profile of this political and military alliance.

It’s so easy for our tweens and teens to access information they assume to be true. Parents don’t have to hover, but checking in on sources and helping our kids understand what it means to be a reliable source is important, especially now. They may actually like sharing this with you, and you can learn together.

“We wish this wasn’t happening, we’re not happy it’s happening, but it’s happening and we should leverage it for these powerful conversations,” Humphries adds.

Find resources, meet them where they are

The Council on Foreign Relations and iCivics recently created “Convene the Council,” an online game for ages 12 and up, aimed at showing how the president of the United States makes foreign policy decisions. The Ukraine situation is an “extreme example” of a foreign policy challenge, Netchvolodoff says, but playing alongside your child as they worry and wonder about the situation in Eastern Europe can help provide them (and you) with more information about how things work. And more knowledge can mean more ease as they see pictures and videos and hear friends talking about what’s going on.

“In some cases, you’re co-learning” with your children, says Julie Silverbrook, senior director of partnerships at iCivics.

“The good news is you’ve got something … that will elicit questions from a younger person. It’s a way for parents to say here’s what’s going on,” Haass says. He suggests you take a moment and look at a map together. You can talk about the invasion and ask your tween or teen questions, so they understand that question so many are asking: Why should we care? “You can talk about freedom, about the importance of democracy,” Haass says. “So much tends to be abstract. Here you have pictures and videos. Suddenly it doesn’t seem so remote. It’s all too graphic and real.”

Lisa Remillard, a former television news reporter and anchor, now co-founder of digital network BEONDTV, has discovered how to reach the audience who needs her: TikTok.Her audience is mostly 16- to 30-year-olds, she says, and her videos about Ukraine are garnering millions of views. She says she wants to help bring short, fact-based news reporting to a generation that might not otherwise get it on social media. She kept seeing comments from her viewers asking why the United States is even involved in the Ukraine situation, and why they should care. “I tried to explain there’s a humanitarian part of this. That didn’t go too far. So I focused on how world events like this impacts the U.S.” She has done videos about what Putin really wants, and more history-based videos about why the Soviet Union collapsed — as she realized her audience wasn’t alive when that happened.

Tik Tok is the medium where so many of our young people are getting their news, and it’s hard for them to discern what’s factual. So this is a chance for parents to meet their kids where they are and point them to factual content. “They see these pictures everywhere, whereas when we were young, our parents just turned it off. At school we didn’t see it. But these kids have their phones and it’s everywhere,” Remillard says. “So if we come to them, get down to the root basics of how these things work, it’s going to be a better place to start from with them.”

Stop scrolling, start doing

It’s easy for any of us to scroll through Twitter and Instagram, to feel anxiety and sorrow and then … what? “Any time you have a global crisis, if you look throughout world history, there has been an awakening that happens about your place as an individual, as a family, in the world,” says Silverbrook. “The pandemic really illustrated that we’re all interconnected. … Now there’s a feeling of a call to service for human kind.”

During the pandemic, many children and parents did what they could to “flatten the curve” and protect front-line workers, she explains. “These moments, they call to us. It happened after 9-11, too.” The current crisis is yet again “a call to service for families. So beyond the anxiety, it’s an opportunity to better understand your role and what you can do. You don’t have to be the president of the United States to make an impact.”

Now is the perfect time to sit down with your children and figure out how they can help. Feeling as if they can have some impact during such a tumultuous time gives them agency and a feeling that they can make a difference. There are many vetted places that you can peruse together before you decide what to do, or how. Again, this is a good time to talk about legitimate sources.

“What we have here is a global teachable moment,” Humphries says. “This is the type of moment that allows us to have those conversations.”

Have a question about parenting? Ask The Post.

7 ways parents can help kids persist at tasks they resist

March 17, 2022 Paul Costello1 Uncategorized

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By Phyllis Fagell March 15, 2022 at 9:00 a.m. Washington Post

When music teacher Monica Hepburn noticed a few weeks ago that her students were progressing slower than expected — and that some were doing the bare minimum — she asked them to rate their effort on a scale of one to 10 and to think about whether they were on track to reach their goals. “Everyone wanted to get a trophy at the county music festival,” said Hepburn, who works at North Bethesda Middle School in Maryland, “but they didn’t realize they needed to work hard and practice.” As one eighth-grade boy told her: “I don’t think we know how to get there.”

Children will avoid expending energy on tasks for all sorts of reasons, whether they think they’re boring, irrelevant or frustrating, or they want to protect their ego or feel pressure to perform. Although it can be easy to engage in a battle of wills, here are seven more productive ways that caregivers can help children overcome their own resistance and accomplish hard things.

Focus on autonomy, meaning and progress

When people have autonomy, believe their work has meaning, and feel as if they’re making progress, they’re more likely to have a positive inner work life, said Teresa Amabile, a professor at Harvard Business School and co-author of “The Progress Principle: Using Small Wins to Ignite Joy, Engagement, and Creativity at Work.” “I’m pretty confident the same things apply to parenting,” Amabile said. “I was talking about this with my granddaughter, Autumn, who is 10, and she said, ‘It’s good when adults give kids choices,’ like her parents do with her.” Autumn pointed out that she wanted to play cello because her mother learned to play the instrument as a child and still has fun playing today, and it was her choice.

Similarly, you can help your child find meaning in tasks. If they can’t see why doing their math homework matters, you might say, “ ‘The more practice you get, the more your brain will be able to do this stuff automatically,’ ” Amabile said.

You also can fuel children’s motivation by noticing their progress, but be sure to set goals that are “measurable, observable, specific and broken down,” said psychologist Anahi Collado, an assistant research professor at the University of Kansas. You might point out, for instance, that they can hit a baseball with greater ease than last season or that they can play a song they couldn’t a few months ago. If your child is not doing any homework at all, help them get started byputting their name on the page or tackling one math problem. “People can have enormously positive responses to what seems like trivial progress,” Amabile said.

Get a ‘battle buddy,’ and reduce pressure

If something feels too risky to your children, suggest they partner with a friend. They can “try out for a team together or go to the first ballet or judo lesson together,” said Nate Zinsser, director of the Performance Psychology Program at the U.S. Military Academy and author of “The Confident Mind: A Battle-Tested Guide to Unshakable Performance.” “In the Army, they call it the battle buddy. It’s the smallest team: the team of two.” If the resistance relates to schoolwork, they can get a “study buddy.”

Reduce the pressure however you can. “That can free your child from the anxiety that comes from thinking they’re performing for you,” said Ken Ginsburg, an adolescent medicine specialist and program director at the Center for Parent and Teen Communication. “We must never motivate them with one of the most ominous words a [child or teen] can hear, the D word: ‘You are a disappointment to me.’ They must see that we love them in all of their unevenness.”

Focus on joy, and leverage imagination

Prioritize joy and progress over achievement and ability, Zinsser said. “Why does a kid play baseball in the first place? It’s fun to swing the bat and hit the ball and run around the bases,” he says. “They won’t have good success in winning the game unless [they] enjoy building the skills, and that’s building on the broader joy of playing in the first place.”

Remind them that everyone has to start somewhere, especially if they’re opting out of a risk because they don’t think they stack up to their peers. “We give a lot of attention to precocious young athletes whose talent emerges at an early age, but we don’t tend to acknowledge athletes who didn’t appear to be tremendously talented at 10, 14 or 16 but were persistent, improved dramatically and became dominant performers,” Zinsser said. “That’s true for everything.”

If your child is self-defeatist, leverage their imagination. “We encourage kids to be logical, logical, logical all the time, and that backfires when they try something, it doesn’t work, and they think that means it won’t work the next time,” Zinsser said. “Encourage them to fantasize about writing the essay or making the baseball team.”

Work with them, not on them

Understand your child’s ambivalence, said Ned Johnson, president of PrepMatters and co-author of “What Do You Say?” “A kid facing an assignment likely knows that these skills may matter later this month on a test, or there will be blowback from [their] teacher if [they] don’t do it, but the challenge is they also know all the reasons why they don’t want to do it. They may find it dull or difficult, dislike the teacher or think, ‘I don’t want to give in to my parents.’”

Stay calm, try to understand, listen and explore their options, Johnson said. “You might say, ‘It makes sense to me that you want to put your efforts elsewhere, and I can also see some reasons why it might be worth your trying to do this work. If you decide to do it, I’m happy to help you in any way that I can.’ ”

When his daughter Katie, 17, was upset about a Latin assignment, for instance, he validated her frustration before offering help. “It changes the energy when you take their side of things,” he said. “They think you’re working with them, not on them.”

Tie efforts to values and goals

“Connect them to why they’re doing the thing rather than the immediate consequences,” Collado said. In other words, ask them why doing an assignment is important for them. If, for instance, they’re unmotivated because they don’t like the teacher, she will ask: “How important is this teacher going to be in your life in five or 10 years?”

When children are upset, they can believe that the uncomfortable feeling will never pass. “The present can feel so threatening, we forget there’s a future,” Collado said. She will ask them to think about how they have felt after doing a very hard task in the past.

It’s fine for them to take breaks as needed, but not to avoid a task entirely. “If they don’t do it, they’ll experience relief, but it will be the wrong kind of relief,” Collado said. Explain to them how anything they avoid that’s important “will come back and give you more stress, and then it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy: ‘I knew I was going to get a bad grade.’ ”

Model positivity and proactive behavior

Let your child see you doing things you don’t want to do, said psychologist Mary Alvord, founder and president of Resilience Across Borders, a nonprofit that aims to help children build resilience. “They’re not going to love every teacher, subject or activity, but if they’re zooming in on the negative, ask: ‘What are some things that are positive or just okay?’ ”

Alvord was part of a group of researcherswho foundthat, when children build resilience skills and develop a sense of self-mastery, it has a “cascading positive impact” on their academic motivation and study skills. “We know if you feel more empowered in your own ability to do things and solve problems, that will strengthen and fortify other areas,” she said.

Simply getting started can be a powerful strategy. “There’s this notion that we need to feel really positive and motivated to get started, but it’s often getting started that makes you feel good, positive and motivated,” said Brad Stulberg, an executive coach and author of “The Practice of Groundedness.”

If your child doesn’t want to go for a bicycle ride, for instance, try saying: “ ‘Let’s bike for 10 minutes, and if after 10 to 15 minutes you want to stop, we can stop,’ ” he said. “Once your brain realizes, ‘Oh, we’re doing this,’ you get a release of neurochemicals — particularly dopamine, the neurochemical of motivation — and that little victory of just getting started can keep you going.”

Forecast consequences, but don’t make choices for them

You might say, “ ‘I understand you’re having trouble with geometry and the teacher isn’t your favorite, but you have to take geometry to graduate, and the less you fight against it, the easier it will be,’ ” said Alan Stein Jr., a former basketball performance coach and co-author of “The Sideline: A Survival Guide for Youth Sports Parents.” “Suffering comes from the resistance, not from the thing itself.”

Stein will help his children get clarity on their options, but he won’t force them to do anything. “I’ll say: ‘It’s okay if you don’t like doing math homework, but if you fail math, you can’t play basketball. Sometimes you have to do things you don’t enjoy in order to do things you love.’ ”

Phyllis L. Fagell, a licensed clinical professional counselor, is the author of “Middle School Matters,” the school counselor at Sheridan School and a therapist at the Chrysalis Group. She tweets @pfagell and blogs at phyllisfagell.com.

AmeriCorps Week Celebration- Alumni Testimony

March 11, 2022 Paul Costello1 Uncategorized

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Listen for alums tell the story of their AmeriCorps Project CHANGE experience.

Lets Celebrate AmeriCorps Week March 13-18th

March 10, 2022 Paul Costello1 Uncategorized

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AmeriCorps Project MORE - Home | Facebook

Watch some of the highlights from Members of Project CHANGE as they sum up their service year. This is the class of 2014.

The forgotten woman behind International Women’s Day

March 9, 2022 Paul Costello1 Uncategorized

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International Women’s Day is here again, and with it the opportunity to highlight women’s contributions to history, society and politics — and, of course, to sell stuff.

But how did the day get started? Some point to Russian communist roots; others claim an American origin story. The truth is that it’s neither and both. International Women’s Day began with a Russian-born Jewish woman in New York City, before traveling to the Soviet Union and back again.

For International Women’s Day, here are 7 of history’s greatest women-led protests

Theresa Serber Malkiel was born in 1874 in the Russian Empire, in an area now in western Ukraine. She came from a middle-class family and received a good education, but her Jewish family was increasingly persecuted and emigrated to the United States in 1891, when she was 17.

In New York City, her education mattered little, according to historian Sally M. Miller. Malkiel found herself in the same desperate position as so many other immigrant women, taking a job in a garment factory. Conditions were brutal: Shifts could last 18 hours, injuries were common and women earned half of what men did, barely enough to pay rent in crowded tenements and boardinghouses. So, like many Jewish and Italian immigrant women at the time, Malkiel soon joined the labor movement and then started a union for female cloak-makers.

Malkiel also became a socialist and, at 26, married fellow socialist and attorney Leon Malkiel. Her husband’s income allowed her to leave the sweatshop, but after moving to the suburb of Yonkers and having a child, Malkiel continued her activism, Miller wrote, providing aid to immigrant women, taking leadership positions in the Socialist Party of America and, with her husband, co-founding a socialist newspaper, the New York Call. (Side note: Their daughter, Henrietta, later co-founded another publication, Congressional Quarterly, with her husband, Nelson Poynter.)

Malkiel was a vocal proponent of women’s equality and the right to vote, though she was wary of the upper-class, nonimmigrant women who tended to lead women’s suffrage groups. In her pamphlets, columns and speeches, she argued that true equality — for women, African Americans, immigrants and child laborers — would only come through socialism.

It was in this context that she proposed the first National Woman’s Day in 1909. According to Rutgers University historian Temma Kaplan, events were held across New York, where thousands gathered to hear speeches and poems, sing socialist anthems and push for the right to vote.

Some websites claim that International Women’s Day marks the first known women-led labor strike on March 8, 1857, or that Malkiel sought to commemorate this strike, but there is no evidence such a strike ever happened. Newspapers from the time don’t mention it, though there was ample coverage of women-led labor strikes decades earlier in Pawtucket, R.I., and Dover, N.H. Additionally, Malkiel’s 1909 National Woman’s Day was held Feb. 23, not March 8.

The first National Woman’s Day kicked off a busy couple of years for Malkiel. Later in 1909 and into 1910, she supported a huge strike of shirtwaist workers, dubbed the “Uprising of the 20,000,” with financial aid, speeches and columns. After enduring a winter on the picket line, the strikers were largely successful, winning better pay and shorter working hours, though factory owners refused to budge on safety concerns.

The strike ended about the same time as the second National Woman’s Day on Feb. 27, 1910. This time, there were events all over the country, and the New York Times covered a large gathering at Carnegie Hall, where speakers were “all women except one, and he denounces Man.” By 1911, it had spread to socialist women in Europe, with events in Vienna, though these were held March 18 in honor of the Paris Commune, according to Miller.

Malkiel soon published a book called “The Diary of a Shirtwaist Striker,” a fictionalized account of the uprising in which an American-born young woman joins with her immigrant co-workers to demand better working conditions.

But a year after the strikers’ seeming victory, their precarity was laid bare. The Triangle Shirtwaist Factory, whose workers had been part of the Uprising of the 20,000, caught fire, killing 146 people — 123 of them women and girls, who had been locked in by the factory’s owners. These days, more people remember the fire than the uprising that preceded it; even a 1949 Times article incorrectly claimed Malkiel’s book came after the fire.

Over the years, Malkiel turned away from the Socialist Party, where she and other women were constantly frustrated by the sexism of its leadership, despite the party’s public calls for equal rights, and focused on adult education for immigrant women. When she died in 1949 at age 76, a Times obituary didn’t mention her contribution to International Women’s Day, which by then used the plural “women’s” and was a big deal, if you lived in a communist country.

The event had continued to grow among leftist women in Europe, though the exact date moved around each year. Then, in 1917, International Women’s Day events in Russia snowballed into a general strike that ended with Czar Nicholas II’s abdication. Since then, it has been commemorated on the day the strike began, March 8 (or Feb. 23 on czarist Russia’s Julian calendar).It was a national holiday in the Soviet Union and in East Germany. In China, women are still given a half-day off work.

By the 1960s, feminists in Western Europe and the United States picked it up again, and the United Nations adopted it in 1975 as a day to celebrate the achievements of women. Kaplan, the Rutgers historian, traced the false origin story of the 1857 strike to 1950s France, where more mainstream feminists were probably trying to tamp down the Soviet vibes.

In the 21st century, social media has brought International Women’s Day to new generations — and new marketing opportunities, of which Malkiel and the millions of socialist women who created it probably wouldn’t have approved.41 CommentsGift ArticleMORE ON WOMEN’S HISTORYHAND CURATED

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By Gillian BrockellGillian Brockell is a staff writer for The Washington Post’s history blog, Retropolis. She has been at The Post since 2013 and previously worked as a video editor. Twitter

“Stalin’s Heirs” a poem

March 8, 2022 Paul Costello1 Uncategorized

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Four years ago today: Yevgeny Yevtushenko, arguably the world's most famous poet, dies in Tulsa | History | tulsaworld.com

Weeks before the 1962 Cuban crisis, an elderly Robert Frost met Nikita Khrushchev in Russia and Khrushchev asked Frost to deliver a message of good will to JFK.

At the very same time, Khrushchev had personally ordered missiles to Cuba, after the failed USA attempt for regime change in Cuba and the Bay of Pigs fiasco. Russia was going to begin deStalinization at home and abroad.

On the very day of the Cuban Crisis breaking in the news, the famous Russian poet Yevtushenko released this poem about the fear of Stalin rising again from his Mausoleum.

The Heirs Of Stalin

Mute was the marble. Mutely glimmered the glass.
Mute stood the sentries, bronzed by the breeze.
Thin wisps of smoke curled over the coffin.
And breath seeped through the chinks
as they bore him out the mausoleum doors.
Slowly the coffin floated, grazing the fized bayonets.
He also was mute- his embalmed fists,
just pretending to be dead, he watched from inside.
He wished to fix each pallbearer in his memory:
young recruits from Ryazan and Kursk,
so that later he might collect enough strength for a sortie,
rise from the grave, and reach these unreflecting youths.
He was scheming. Had merely dozed off.
And I, appealing to our government, petition them
to double, and treble, the sentries guarding this slab,
and stop Stalin from ever rising again
and, with Stalin, the past.
I refer not to the past, so holy and glorious,
of Turksib, and Magnitka, and the flag raised over Berlin.
By the past, in this case, I mean the neglect
of the people’s good, false charges, the jailing of innocent men.
We sowed our crops honestly.
Honestly we smelted metal,
and honestly we marched, joining the ranks.
But he feared us. Believing in the great goal,
he judged all means justified to that great end.
He was far-sighted. Adept in the art of political warfare,
he left many heirs behind on this globe.
I fancy there’s a telephone in that coffin:
Stalin instructs Enver Hoxha.
From that coffin where else does the cable go!
No, Stalin has not given up. He thinks he can cheat death.
We carried him from the mausoleum.
But how remove Stalin’s heirs from Stalin!
Some of his heirs tend roses in retirement,
thinking in secret their enforced leisure will not last.
Others, from platforms, even heap abuse on Stalin
but, at night, yearn for the good old days.
No wonder Stalin’s heirs seem to suffer
these days from heart trouble. They, the former henchmen,
hate this era of emptied prison camps
and auditoriums full of people listening to poets.
The Party discourages me from being smug.
‘Why care? ‘ some say, but I can’t remain inactive.
While Stalin’s heirs walk this earth,
Stalin, I fancy, still lurks in the mausoleum.

Translated by George Reavey Yevgeny Yevtushenko

Break the Bias: International Women’s Day 2022

March 8, 2022 Paul Costello1 Uncategorized

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illustration of women with break the bias hashtag for international women day

International Women’s Day 2022 is on Tuesday 8 March. It is an opportunity to act, improve opportunities and rebuild post-pandemic workplaces without bias for the benefit of everyone.

Ruth Holmes FEBRUARY 2022 from Relocate Global

According to Lean In – an international community dedicated to helping women realise their ambitions and offering its support to International Women’s Day with resources – around three-quarters of women around the world experience bias at work. Yet as author and consultant at Included Stephen Frost wrote in an article for Think Global People, the trouble with bias is that you often aren’t aware of your own unconscious bias. Lean In found that less than a third of employees are able to recognise bias when they see it. This makes it harder for women to be hired and promoted, and more difficult for companies to level the playing field.With women – especially women from minority Black or Asian backgrounds – hardest hit by the pandemic, this year’s International Women’s Day has never been more important to ensuring more equal boardroom representation, gender balance in public decision-making bodies and improved life chances for all women.

Why is recognising bias important?

As well as being the right thing to do, acknowledging and addressing bias, conscious or otherwise, has a critical role in furthering the diversity, equity and inclusion agenda so vital to building more sustainable, responsible and successful businesses.Research into 1,000 companies in 12 countries by management consultants McKinsey & Company found gender-diverse companies outperform their national industry averages on profitability. Another study by Catalyst, a non-profit community working globally to help build workplaces that work for women, found that firms with more women in management positions enjoy 35 per cent more return on equity (ROE) than firms that lack gender diversity. To make this happen in more companies, bias means taking action to learn what we don’t know. This requires effort, engagement and buy-in to do something about the findings.

Identifying bias and building buy-in

Speaking at the CIPD’s annual conference and exhibition in November, Steven Atkins, Global Analytics Enablement Director at splashHR, a people analytics platform, said the driver for addressing discrimination, diversity gaps and changing hearts and minds “has to be ‘show me what I don’t know, even though I think I know about it’.“Then when I see that information, to embrace it and adapt to it. Without information backing up all the wonderful things everyone is talking about, we are not going to make that mandate for change. This is where D&I discussions can help foster positive change.”For fellow CIPD panellist Katherine Gansallo, Diversity and Inclusion Director at the London Stock Exchange Group (LSE), this has been the case around adopting, for example, more flexible working patterns in the international organisation, which employees around 25,000 people in 17 countries.“We are really trying to look at systemic change when it comes to our D&I objectives and really looking at making sure data is key in driving some of the initiatives we are working on. “We are focused on gathering as much of that as possible to really inform the decisions that we make, and make sure we are not only focusing purely on different underrepresented groups, but also making sure that where we have bias in the system, we are mitigating it and pulling it out and making some real change.”

Overcoming stigma

“For us, the pandemic is an interesting time because thinking just about the LSE [which acquired and merged with financial market information provider, Refinitiv, in 2021], it’s quite old in its way of thinking,” explained Katherine Gansallo, hihglighting how individuals and teams can challenge, spearhead change and drive the inclusion agenda at work for mutual benefit. Prior to the pandemic, research showed that flexible working carried with it a stigma, especially for women. A 2019 survey of 1,600 civil servants by the Global Institute for Women’s Leadership at King’s College London found a quarter felt their line manager viewed their flexible working as a negative. Over a third also said they felt they needed to put in extra hours to show their commitment.“There were some managers who were very keen to say there is no way we could do remote working without being present in the office,” continued Katherine Gansallo. “The reality of that is that this pandemic has been a great opportunity to really shake things up and showed us that we absolutely can. “It has allowed us to really challenge people around ‘why did we say we couldn’t work that way’? It’s a great opportunity to encourage people who need different modes of support.”

Rebuilding the world of work without bias

International Women’s Day is therefore a chance to amplify and reinforce the work that is already happening in purpose-driven organisations to identify and respond to workplace bias. The global movement has published a range of resources and guides so employers of all sizes from around the world can get involved and raise awareness in support of gender equity. You can also access Relocate Global’s wealth of information from our impactful International Women’s Day events over the years – the largest and highest profile celebrations in our sector.Find out how to join us as we celebrate diversity and inclusion in our leading annual Relocate and Think Global People Awards and Think Global People: Future of Work Festival in June, as well as year-round through our multimedia platform. Inspired and keen to get involved and tell us about your work to #BreaktheBias? We’d love to hear from you!

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Posts by Paul Costello1

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AmeriCorps Week Celebration- Alumni Testimony

Lets Celebrate AmeriCorps Week March 13-18th

The forgotten woman behind International Women’s Day

“Stalin’s Heirs” a poem

The Heirs Of Stalin

Break the Bias: International Women’s Day 2022

Why is recognising bias important?

Identifying bias and building buy-in

Overcoming stigma

Rebuilding the world of work without bias

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